Wednesday, December 20, 2006

missed classes...

many have been wodnering why i didn't turn up for the first 2 days of college. well, the reason is really simple. it's because i'm so used to sleeping at 5 a.m. and wakes up at 1 p.m! so.. even after the college started, it's difficult to turn back my body clock. i am so doomed!

actually today, i already woke up in time for college. it's jsut too bad that i can't open my eyes after i shut off the alarm so i plop right back onto the pillow and continue sleeping. ahhah how wonderful. and yes, i swear that i'll be in college tomorrow. the class starts at 9 a.m. at least and not 8 a.m.

another sad thing is..... 3 out of 5 days, the class starts at 8 a.m. that's very very devastating.

Friday, December 15, 2006

astrological crash

i just founf this interesting news when i was surfing around yahoo. it's about the link between astrological sign and car crash. well, it seems that libras and Aquarians tend to crash alot. and Aries have a 'me first' childlike nature that leads them to trouble.

Astrological signs and car crash (Yahoo)

i'm bored...

miracle results!

i so can't believe my eyes when i saw my results. i thought i'll have to wait till afternoon for the results to come out, but thanks to cheryl who left me a message on msn while i was away...i just checked it. yeap, and its 4.43 am in the morning.

this semester's result was the best compared to the previous semesterS. not only i didn't fail any single subjects... the lowest grade was a B. no B minus also...


thinking that my eyes deceived me, i scroll up and down and up again and i read carefully if it was MY results. and yes!! my name was there, it's mine! HOHOHO! oops...sorry, i'm not trying to brag, no intention at all cos i know i'm just a moderate student. but... this is the best x'mas present. i'm just too happy. God, forgive me. i mean, i knew i screwed up a paper or two. plus i skip my presentation for one of the subjects. anyway...

LaLaLa...LaLaLa.... =)

i'm a happy student...! and there's a person who stayed up with me the whole night, accompanying me burn the midnight oil. MuAX!


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

double C: Curious / Crazy

is it me that has high level of curiosity or am i just crazy?

guess what the hell i did! i always wondered how is my ex-bf's gf like. i was so curious to know until i went and surf around the friendster just in case she has one. so i started searching through his friend's list of friends because i know that they will add since it's their buddy's girlfriend. and guess what? after half an hour...i found it. and guess what?

i just realise that there's no reason for me to do that. she's an ordinary girl after all. fine, maybe she's cuter and prettier than me. but he's not mine anymore so it doesn't make any difference whether she's better or worse than me. he's hers and not my business.

anyway... i bookmarked her friendster website because i constantly reads her blog.

tell me, is that crazy or i'm just curious?

it repeats-

me and someone argued again...this time it was not because of one thing but several issus. i thought this is it, we're just going to face another major argument and fight. we talk over it again and again.

well, what do you know? we made through it again. i really have no clue how long this is going to last but for now it just seems that we always have a way of patching things up.

on the other hand, i still cannot forget him. although i don't think so much about the past anymore and how much i wanted him back... i still can't break lose from the memories we had together. even seeing car plate numbers that looked like his, i'll think bout him (even of the numbers are jumbled up).

maybe i should stop thinking and planning but let everything happen naturally. i already lost him and there's nothing i can do no matter how much i tried. yes, i tried and i failed and i'm beginning to give up.

Monday, December 11, 2006

depression syndrome at home

my holidays has almost ended. just one more week.


All the non-productive things of course! sigh.... rot around, sit at home to watch dvd and other crap shows. wth, this is so boring. know what? i really miss those days i went PD. the chalet was beautiful and cosy enough, and i get to watch sunset every single day from the chalet. if only i don't need to study and make a living, i will just stay there for a month and forget everything else. heaven!

i know it's bit early for day-dreaming.. it's so bored at home i don't know what else to do man. somebody get a knife and stab me! arGGHHhHhhhh.....

i can't stand it... i can't stay at home anymore. whenever i sit in my room, i'll see the candle that he bought me and the message on it. the message that gave me hope in the beginning but when i rely heavily on it, he didn't keep his promise. anyway, non of this is his fault. it all started from me and i hurt not only one but 2 guys.

then, there's this other guy who went through alot so that we can be together. but unfortunately, we were not compatible, and we have different views on evrything important. he don't understand my actions and i don't understand his. friction causes fire and fire causes injury. i wonder why are we still holding on. that makes sense alrite...

damn... i should get my arse out of the house or i'll really go nuts.

Friday, December 08, 2006

the love story has ended

the story bout me and my very nice and lovely boyfriend has been over for quite a few months. this is just to let some of you who don't know cos i didn't come online for a good few months.

thinking back, i still remember how sweet he used to treat me. he wouldn't pick fight with me at all, will not argue and jsut tolerate even if i'm the wrong one. he will do anything to make me happy, even if it means buying me a stupid handbag when he's broke. constantly giving me surprises until the very end, even on the times we were drifting apart.

well, it's all me to be blamed. he only did something minor to trigger me and i started all this problems. i hurt him while he's away from me... i did everything possible to kill a good man's love for me.

sigh.... i guess i'm still drowning with guilt and regret. and with my stupidity, i unconsciously turned out the last chance to be with him again. now that things are not going to be the same with him anymore, i gave up. i remember telling him that i'll still try to get him back no matter wat and i kept that for a few months until recently i realise, i give up. i an't do it anymore... i can't bear the situation we're in when we see each other now. he already has a girlfriend and i think he loves her quite a bit.

he's officially not mine and i'm probably going to be with someone for quite some time. i still wish he'll wants me back one day... one very fine day.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

everything has changed...

i've not been coming online for the past few months..
and many many things have changed, i can say it's almost every aspect of my life.
but since i couldn't online, i couldn't update the blog...
one thing's for sure, i didn't change my degree course.
but other than that....

i've made many mistakes and i lost the man whom i loved so much.

also realise that i am not so bubbly and cheerful anymore after facing so much of problems.

i'm so prone to crying, i think i'm a better cry baby than jamie cos i can cry almost anytime (just trigger me).

i sleep very late, bout 4 a.m. everyday and wake up in the afternoon.

i have no mood to go to shopping complexes... which means i seldom shop already.

i travel alot around malaysia in one month's time...which includes langkawi, port dickson, melaka, and the most recent: penang.

i no more haver curly hair but rebonded hair.

Monday, July 31, 2006


maybe it's a wee bit late to talk about that now...but i really thought i should blog it down. so that i can read about in future and laugh/cry about it. it's been so long since i traditionally use paper and pen to 'blog' (a.k.a. diary).

the one year celebration with my bf was almost a month ago now. he made me really happy that day. i was so touched i cried; which is rare. also very guilty cos of the way i treated him. he really didn't deserve me after all. he's just too good and too nice...100% potential good husband. and what did i do for him in return? nothing much... maybe i invested so much of energy and effort last time, it hit me back the other way round now.

he brought me up to genting that night so that we can chill out, have tea and stuff. halfway up, he stopped at somewhere deserted and dark... now now, i dun want any minds drifting somewhere...

bf: you wait in the car for a while yea? don't look at the back and don't get out of the car.
me: huh? y? what are you doing? why cannot go out?

being mischevious, i climbed to the back seat and tried to peep.

bf: cannot see la ok! wait a while...
me: yer....y? what is it? faster lar....faster!
bf: ok! you can come out now.. fast fast!

when i look into the boot, omg... it was so beautiful! he sticked glow-in-the-dark stars everywhere and lighted little candles around. one huge heart-shaped candle. lucky he didn't burn his boot. there's also one butterfly stuck on the boot. and... a bouquet of different-coloured roses. he had prepared all those things since a few weeks ago, hunting for those small small gifts.

i don't know how i felt that time. it was a mixture of happy, surprised, touched, sad, guilty... oh, i duno.

that's the highlight of my anniversary. a truly spectacular one. one which i can remember really well because it's different. it was all da effort that makes it shine isn't it?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Though my blog is quite dead, i'm very much alive. maybe because i didn't know what to blog these days. i don't know what is it that i can tell and what i should blog about; OR maybe (most probably) the twisted story of mine is just too long to be told and there's hardly any words that can describe it. i know, it's complicated. *scratches head*


my holidays have long ended, like 2 weeks ago. i've already attended classes for 2 weeks now and it's just torture. having too many subjects in one sem is a problem.... what's more worse is 4 out of 5 days, my classes start at 8 am. Everyone who knows me well enough, especially collegemates know i have problem with early classes. it's either i won't appear cos i overslept or i'll probably be late and be marked absent anyway! the bright side of the story is, my dark eye circles are fading slowly because i'm sleeping much much earlier now... i take afternoon naps almost everyday after college.... and i don't experience any insomnia anymore. just plop on the bed and i transform into a pig faster than sailormoon's transformation (some funny fella said this, not my idea).

another depressing thing... i have 6 subjects this sem and EVERY single one of them seems like hell. one week into the college and we're supposed to start doing assignments... and it's not only one. they're SEVERAL bloody killer-assignments each subjects. *calculate* that makes it more than 10 assignments to do.


well, at least the past 2 weeks have been very peaceful for me (minus the college). the major problem that makes me pull my hair out? it kinda subsided for a while... doesn't mean it's gone. it's still there but it's less of a bugger now. i'm so glad for the harmonious environment now. i know i have to face it again someday soon, and i mean 'really soon'. i don't want to delay it either at the cost of having someone else drown in misery. especially when i hurt someone i love dearly just so that i can avoid the problem for a little while. i nearly solved it once and for all, but it didn't work out. there's lack of compromising. i'm so SELFISH... i know that too. there's no need for reminders.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

out of track


* a VERY big sigh*

just when i thought that life was about to get back on track because i tried to do something about it, God came and prove it to me that i will never get it my way. MEAN!

it's after many many times of trying to set everything back on track, trying to repair things here and there, maybe avoiding certain stuffs and breaking a few rules... the consequences would be a repaired-life. one that gets better than the previous and one that is meant to be the right way to happen.


it never happens... it just get worse. sO, a piece of miserable advice for my friends; DON'T bother changing your life. let it change you would be the easier and hassle-free way.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

routine-oriented week

so it's been a week since i last update my blog. and i can tell you what the heck i did in just a few sentences? why? Because it's the same thing everyday!! what a simple life... i'm getting the hang of it. having the holidays and becoming a 'fai' (useless) person everyday doing nothing but yam cha and going out. isn't that err....sad? or..relaxing? whatever...although i miss college, i know i'll miss my holidays more when class starts.

it's always waking up in the morning or afternoon to go eat. then after eating, maybe walk around midvalley or one utama or wherever that can waste time. then i have my 'hi-tea session'; which means yam cha again. then chit chat plus drinks...and waste time again. then without realising, it's dinner time. SO? time to go dinner... (eat again). after dinner, it's time to go Steven's corner to watch football. what you expect? football mania this month isn't i? and i get to win some money.. ('s illegal and i'm blogging bout it openly. hahaha sue me!)

i'm just back from yam cha and there's nothing else to do till evening so here i am blogging. and there's no football tonight *sobs*. a must-mention, i was yc-ing with carmen just now and i realised she has quite some good advices up her sleeves. don't think she's blur... because she definitely knows what's going on around her. even know who likes who... ahhha (haha carmen, i think you're right. i think she likes him). we even analysed the whole drama together and made up the conclusion. poor 'kai yeh'! he sounded like he was framed when carmen ask him that question.*breaks into laughter*

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

WhAt IF?

one day, you're stuck in this crossroads.
ONE way is the right thing to do,
the OTHER is a wrong path full of sins.
your mind says do the RIGHT thing,
the heart says foLLow your FEELINGS!

you stood at the middle,
looking left and right and left again.
then you think,
'which way makes me a happier person?'
the answer: to go with your heart...

so you went to the path of sin,
where more damage could be done,
where more people will be hurt.
where you may lose almost everything one day.

halfway through the path,
you felt guilty and thought of turning back.
then da' devil in you reminding..
all the happiness that the wrong path could bring,
telling you,
'my dear, even if you turn back....
things will never be the same again..'

if it's you in that situation,
will you go straight on to that path?
or will you turn back to do the right thing...
and forget the happiness that you could have?

Sunday, June 18, 2006

fOOtball and betting

i was just back from Steven's Corner and the match between USA and Italy was quite interesting although i only watched the first half. i have no idea what's the result at the end of the game but i guess i couldn't bother more or less isn't it? i didn't bet on any games and i guess the thrill isn't so strong.

for the past few days, most of the mamaks are filled with people (as long as there's tv). even the mamaks who are usually empty and business-less are filled with people. whenever there's a goal being scored, u can see people jumping up or punching the air with their hands... shouting 'GOAL!' or whatever it is that sounds like 'YAY!'.

either they're betting on the game, that's why they're so excited (most prob winning). then we can see who's betting on the losing team (those who look grim and not punching the air!). OR these people can be just hardcore football fan. Hmmph....i bet most of them are betting!

all these football fever caused me to waste time looking for parking when going to Stevven's Corner at night! and also waste time looking for empty tables!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

sUCking sErviCE

yOu know, i haven't really done this before but i guess this time is an exception.
AND i'm forced to!
due to dissatisfaction, anger and most of all...
what happened to good customer service in the F&B line?
some (very small percentage) waiter/waitresses these days are like morons.
damn, they're RUDE! obnoxious!

my goodness, if you're a regular at Mid Valley Megamall..
go take a trip down the rows of restaurant just outside the megamall.
it's somewhere beside Chilli and near Center Court.
there should be this fat bitch (brown-skin, hair tied back, fat and grumpy) standing at the cashier.
even better, go try and buy something and see the way she talks to you.
that day i went there to tapao breakfast...
my order was "two kopi-O and two sets of roti bakar"
she just slumberly punched the cashier and i paid her.
when the kopi-O arrived, it's hot... so i remember that i forgot to tell her i want kopi-o AIS.
i went back to the counter, told this chinese guy that looked like the person in charge..
"i want COLD kopi-O, not HOT. can i change?"
the fat bitch suddenly walked over and open her blaring mouth instantly saying,
"SHE did not say she want cold.. she just said Kopi-O!!"
my eyeballs were burning and could have stuffed kaya till it fills the brim of her mouth if it's legal to do so.
i looked at the chinese guy and said very politely,
"i'll pay you the extra charge, can i have it cold please?"
that bitch rolled her eyes at me...what the hell for?
i didn't even complain about her.
besides, when i did waitress-ing, i remember we have to ask the customer if they want it hot or cold (if they never mention).
she was the one who never clarify with me..
sudah-lah, i never cari pasal with her.. she wanna step on my tail.
should see her bloody face.

although their food isn't so bad...
sO i thOugHT....

..... that everything will go on like normal and resume like how things were before. i'm probably giving myself too much hope/ expecting too much.

it has been a week since i last updated my blog and within this week, i was really quite Ok until yesterday. if anyone DO realise, i have this habit of blogging usually when i'm extremely upset and felt like rantling it online; Or when i have many things to complain about. i guess this is one of those time when i'm upset. 7 days of not blogging means i don't really have much problem for 7 days since the last discussion with my boyfriend.

it took me a good FEW days to actually get used to things after the discussion. all we wanted was to return to how things were last time and go back in time. that was what i've been trying to do and i know he tried, although i'm not sure. recently, i really was able to let go of the problems, to be able to RELAX when i talk or do anything so that he won't misunderstand. to smile and laugh sincerely from my heart. to talk and do whatever i felt like without tensing. i was ALMOST there goddamnit. i was sOO..NEAR... so frigging near to get the feelings back.

everything went back to square one yesterday night when i found out that he kept a copy of some stupid joke agreement i have with my friend. i knew that he doesn't trust me or him anymore after all these but i thought he already let everything go? isn't that the reason we tried so hard to make everything go back like last time and...JUST when i'm about to accomplish what we've planned, i found out about that. it's just devastating.

i'm not angry at him for looking at my things (accidentally or not). if only he knew how to confront me at that time and ask me what is it, or let me know he saw it. there's no need to keep a copy of it without letting me know. and the reason he gave me for doing so? it's ridiculous, nonsense and doesn't make sense at all.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

never-ending 'discussions'

i believe that one day (very soon) i'll die due to lack of sleep. i already lost sleep the past few days, and it's not just a few hours. it's alot of sleep when you add them up altogether.
today has not been a very good day as well. i thought that the problems between me and him were officially over 2 days ago where we talked EVERYthing through. being honest is very important. oh yes, it is VERY VERY important. so i learnt my lesson... and i've been honest since then. i was wrong because after that the problems that evolved were due to some other reasons.

the problems that arise never stop and the 'discussion' happened every few days. it's starting to make me feel sick and i don't like the way things are going now. in fact, i'm already feeling very 'sick'. you name it; constipation, vomitting, headache, dizzy, irregular periods, stomach cramp, amnesia, mood swings bla bla bla...the list goes on.

today, i've been very honest with him. i never intended to lie because i knew he already understood. little did i know, God has his way of playing pranks on me. somehow... a different issue started in the evening. from having a superb day without much worries, my night was filled with trauma (again) because another 'discussion' was held and lucky for me, all goes well... we ended the night well.

then i woke up just now feeling all numb and dizzy and thought, "hey, it's the 6th of June. Exam results day" i checked online and there's still nothing yet... so i came online. while i blog, my pet rabbit jumps around my keyboard typing all sorts of funny words and is currently chewing on the keyboard's wire. it's good to have something cute and cuddly thing next to you who doesn't know how to make any noise (except to sneeze). i'm dizzy, i'm sleepy and i'm patiently waiting for the results to come out. the rest of the day that has passed is history. AND i believe history always tend to repeat *cross fingers*

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

losing trust

it happened to me and i felt that it might just be the worse thing that can happen to you on earth, other than Armageddon. all this while i've tried really hard to make him trust me and believe me, but i was able to destroy the trust that i build over the months with just one lie. although there really wasn't any harm done behind the lie, suspicion now exists between us. we always look for ways to confirm the truth no matter what the other person says... seeing becomes believing and words are no more than a meaningless grumble.

just after one incident and a few discussions that follows, things were never the same again. one became sensitive and is always suspicious, making him take drastic lengths to find out whether he was being told the truth. the other person becomes very afraid and gets the feeling she's being checked upon most of the time.

there were great disappointment when she was telling nothing but the truth and yet he still wants to check on her to prove it. that alreadys shows how much trust has evaporated since the last few weeks. on the other hand, she couldn't trust him when he says he just want to see her while she's out with her friends... because she could sense that he wants to check on her.

can't life goes on without too much of a drama?

Sunday, May 21, 2006

today is SUNDAY. so another week has officially passed. and i still have another 7 weeks of holidays. how nice.... hmMmm. except the fact that i have no allowance and going to be flat broke soon?

so last week was road trip week. this week was more like a problematic one. however, i had my fun already of course. you really think i'm gonig to go through another week without the 'fun' word? Monday, we went to Genting. together with jamie, carmen, hor yan and edmund; it was a very happy gathering. we talked and laughed and did all kinds of stupid things. we cam whored with our handphones in Coffee Bean and after Edmund told us he has a camera inside his car, we took pics using his digi cam non stop. in the lift, hotel lobby, in front of the toilet, in the parking lot, beside his car and in his car while he drove. we even took pics when we saw this spot halfway down genting because from there we can have a beautiful view of KL city. little did i know that this trip to have coffee in genting caused some other problems as well.

then for the next few days... i'm always in Mid Valley and Wong Kok, no where else but that 2 place. got to go office in IGB tower almost everyday. it's getting quite sickening.... sad. i'm now very very bored of midvalley and i can memorise almost all the shops there.

guess there's not much to be said anymore but a problematic week. in the outside where i can laugh and enjoy with my friends, i have to endure the pain of having to argue with my bf. actually it was more like a discussion kind of thing between us. not much argument.
there's lots of dramas going around lately.
i guess i still can cope with it. the things that happened lately made me realise how much things i didn't know about my bf...all those things that he never let me know before this. Also his past and his hidden personality. he also made me realise how much he loves me and i need not suspect him or doubt him anymore. beside that, i know that i love him alot and no matter what i don't think i'll be able to let go of him just yet. i'm still trying my very best to not make him upset.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

the selfish me

life has been very different the past few weeks. in such a short time, many things have happened and many have changed.

i can't say whether it is entirely a good thing or a bad thing but all i can say is i'm still trying to get used to how things are going right now. need to adapt to the new environment.

what has happened most probably is my fault. i led it to this road and made things become the way it is right now. it has gone too far for me to turn back. i can't navigate it to the alternative way either. the funny thing is, i didn't even regret on what i did.

instead, i feel that all these made me realise what type of person i am. how much damage or good i can do with just one simple step. to have the ability to change so many things affecting not only myself but a few more other people.

on the other hand, i came to know that people have the potential to change themselves when they come into a desperate stage. even the most stubborn person who believes he is right will change his mind-settings just because of one incident that i've caused.

the only solution now is to follow the flow. i have no other options. maybe i have; but i can't do it neither have the courage to think about doing it. i want to choose the most righteous way as a human being. however, we cannot deny that humans are selfish. i just want what's good for me and what i want. others do not matter.

yes... i AM SELFISH. i'm just a normal human being. don't tell me what is right and what's wrong because when it comes to this matter i don't see how a happy moment can lead to the wrong path. being happy doesn't mean it's right but it can't possibly be wrong either.

i have made the decision to take this path and i will follow it till i see the end. other than that, i guess nothing will make me change my mind.
miss Chammy a.k.a sexaylaydee has already complained bout my 'dead' blog. hmmmph... maybe the next time i plan to take a break from blogging, i'll put up a notice like what jamie did.

let's start back from last week. i was pretty busy enjoying myself. though what i do everyday was almost the same, it was entertaining none the less. and i was barely at home until my dad has to throw tantrums and threaten to dis-own me. and my mum nagged till i go crazy. alright, so the past 2 days i'm home at night and that's another reason why i'm blogging today.

last week: it was more of a road-trip week. i went to two states on two separate days and came back on the same day. i went to Port Dickson and got myself a ugly tan. that day was the first day i really felt like, "hey, this is what i call holiday!". you know, going somewhere further; to places you barely go just to chill out. so yeah, i did 'chill' there minus the sun of course. my shoulders are dark and i have 4 fairer stripes on them. bikini and spaghetti strap. how coOl is that??! EhErm... guess Not. On Saturday, it's IPOH. One of my bf's colleague is going to get married... and so we went to attend their wedding dinner. Because we left quite late, my bf had to speed up and drove like a maniac. we had no choice, we were following his friend's car and he... drove like a tasmanian devil with no brakes. lucky me, we made it there and came back alive. that day i was so tired i had to sleep in the car and my poor bf had to drive while i sleep...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

working for philips for these two days have been saddening. or probably it's me being the useless 'si-lai' in making. the first day i did demo for philip's new rice cooker, the casserole tasted like shit. in brief, too much ginger, not salty enough, no taste and the rice was too wet and sticky. if you're imagining it, i think it looks like a pile of shit? anyway, today the 2nd day and things improved a little. at least ALL the rice were eaten by someone and not heading for the rubbish bin. so proud now. another saddening thing is, there wasn't much chance for me to play MIA during work because i had to do the demo from time to time and there's this merchandiser from Philips who came and check on me.

saddening -in conclusion.

Friday, May 05, 2006

the 5th day of my holiday... what i did last few days, i can't really remember. it's all a mess of Wong Kok, Halo Cafe, Steven's Corner and Mid Valley because that's what all i've been doing last few days. and i did that EVERY day. i drank limau ais, yin yong, green apple green tea, heineken again and again, repeatedly. I'e been doing all the same stuffs, no wonder i can't remember what i did. i messed them up. shIt. what else can be worse?

oh, did i mentioned that i only wake up after 12 pm everyday? hmmm. i passed through half of today feeling so numb and blur. i remember waking up and falling asleep a number of times. my right eye is now swollen like a bulging bull's eye. it's raining heavily outside and i'm just blasting the music at home. my modem won't get fried, no worries. i'm starting to crap bullshit online because i don't know who to tell them to and even if they want, i don't think they can tolerate my bloody annoying voice right now. i'm feeling kile crap. when is it that i'm going to be able to do something proper and useful for holidays?

talking bout that reminds me of tomorrow and the day after that. hell.
have to do some stupid rice cooker for Philips for work tomorrow. cooking some sort of chicken rice. argHhh... me and jamie haven't even go get the ingredients yet. the two of us 'si-lai's' are so going to rock in philips t-shirt tomorrow. mUAhahahZ. i'm brain-dead.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

PANIC!!! omg... what happened to my blog's banner? da butterfly/bird/rainbow like thing... sigh. shitz... it's probably been removed from the web. well, i'll reserve a day or two to sit at home and start looking for new template.sad, i forgot all bout html already. have to start from the scratch.

i'm so so bored at home after the holidays started. as usual right? when you have classes, assignments, exams; you'll want holiday. but when i have holiday, i want plans. plANS. PLANS. i ain't getting any nice holidays proposals so far. just rotting my arse away and yam cha everyday. i'm just so predictable. wake up at 1 pm. called or be-called by kah mun, jamie, hor yan and the rest. it's time to go yam cha/ lunch. and it's forever in Citrus Park. somewhere between 4-7 i'll be in Wong Kok and from 7-11 pm i'll be in Halo Cafe, which happens to be only few steps away from Wong Kok. those people who work there laugh when they saw us going again and again. Now i know where my money goes and why i'm jsut so broke.

it's so sad, that i'm only seeing the same few people for the past few weeks. i can count them with my two bare hands.ironic. i wanna meet up with the rest... such as Kit Yee, Wai Yin, Esther... and my bRo'z and Gang. Also John Tan the lost soul who can't be reached these days. JasOn Aw Eng kUon, who's all about girlfriend and no buddies. eDwin and the rest of the SAM gang whom i haven't met for a long time... and edwin said he's going to go stevens again? Mun Mun, yinG yoong, Lauren, azaria and the whole group... some which i saw a few times already and some who remains lost e.g. Lauren. lots lots mroe..i can't recall right now. but for those who i've called up lar alright?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

based from experience, i'm quite sure that stress (more like OvER-stress) from by last minute studying can cause lotsa side effects, such as:

  • nausea and vomitting
  • difficulty in breathing
  • skin diseases/dry skin
  • delayed periods
  • headaches and migraine
  • dark circles under the eye
  • short tempered
  • emotional...

so, yes...YES. i've experienced all that. ALL okay? damn da exams. fine, damn me too for studying last minute. it's my fault for not being able to remember if i study too early. i can never study too early cos in the end i won't remember anything! yeaps..that's it. enough of self-blame. i know i'll pass all my papers. i think i know. or, i'm hoping. whatever. my life will be back on track after this friday.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

i've NOT changed. a little but it makes no significant difference. have not updated for a fe days because i look at my blog and i've decided to leave it alone. i have much more better things to do.... e.g. yam cha. HAHA. damn... supposed to be studying the past few days. the other way round happened, i yam cha more than ever in this week. EVERY day for the past few days... maybe a week?

i went to Steven's Corner. it's STEVEN's, STEVEN's... STEVEN's. might even have nightmare about it soon. carmen even claims that she's addicted witht heir food and can't live without it even for a night. serioUS...hmMph.. maybE there's druGS?

my first exam paper has just passed. thinking skills. bleaHh... it was all crap. i just want a pass. nothing more. i remember being lazier last sem, how come i think i'm gonna fail more this sem? maybe i'm just stupider...or the subjects are tougher.

i've piCked up smOking. i know, it's bad. i remember exclaiming loudly.. "damn smelly. i hate faggers". and now i fag... a light fagger at least. ironic, i still think the same... they ARE smelly. ewww... don't even wanna smell my fingers after smoking. yuCk yUck... hopefully my plan works. hopefully he will listen to me and cut down on smoking and gradually stoppEd. though, what he told me yesterday kinda make me disappointed. wait till he see me smoke..then he'll listen. it'll work..right??? even more ironic, i did this to make him stop...but then, there's many people out there trying to stop me. one threatened to 'hantam' me if he sees me smoking in front of him, one says he'll do 'god-knows-what' if i continue. i won't get addicted..

have trust in me.

mean while, i'm just using them as erm... anti-sleeping pill. ciggies work fine to keep a person awake and it's doing good for me now. doing wonders actually. better than any kopi-O. especially if i haven't study for a subject that's 2 days away...and also the subjects after that. sIGH.

i kinda miss him... ALOT ALOT. have not been seing him for a week and it feel's like a month. that day i was so sure i didn't see him for a month, but when i look at the date, i realise it's only 7 days. fuCking 7 days... ONLY. time flies like shit.

reminder again: i'll quit ciggie once i accomplished/fail my mission and after i not need it's help to stay awake... to those who plan on smoking, it really is smelly. especially your fingers. beware. but again, it does wonders! *grin*

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

single and N/A

finally, da day has come. not like i'm waiting for it, don't misunderstand. it's just that he really is not going to be with me for quite some time. back in his hometown, enjoying his peaceful life or bored to death; i do not know. though i wish he's bored to hell so that he'll not be able to stand it and return to KL a.s.a.p.

On the other hand, i wanted him to stay there for quite some time until my exam finished. this way, i can spend all my time on my friends [the books] and also go meet up with him there a month later. dilemma sial.

i finally started studying, isn't that great? it's already TUESDAY for goodness sake, and i've just STARTED. there goes my A flying away. i guess i've lost my chance in doing better...again. i only have another week before exam starts, minus 3 days cos i need to work.

ironic. i remember being so semangat in the beginning of this semester, telling myself that i'm going to do better this sem and to be more hardworking.

study, study, study; i told myself.
no BIG P [ProcrastinatiOn]; i warned myself.
Avoid last minute work; i reminded myself.
and now, it's all down the drain... washed away to the sea because i don't see them anymore.

hangat-hangat tahi ayam. THAT's mE alright.
posted up a few piCs....for funNn.

birtdAy dInneR in Klang.

from left: iris - sUmathi - leRoy - saMmy - diAn [notice the colors]

from left: sammy- sElina - reNa - chEryl - sOo chia

soo chia - stePhanie - saMMy wEndy

not to forget Yin LI and Foong.. (no pICs).

pressie [dress] from collegemates...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

i'm a RED person

i'm so so free now. i've decided to do some nonsense online. besides, i can't put myself to bed after a few cups of alcohol. *buRp*

then a friend sent me some quiz from, about what is my true color... and my result is this...


Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

*** in conclusion, i'm passionate, impulsive, romantic, fickle-minded and alive!

went to Taman Pertanian, Shah Alam just now. it's like a reserved forest with windy roads and chalets far from one another. those chalets are meant to be reserved by people, you know, to enjoy the relaxing environment and run away from hectic city life. for activities, we can go jungle trekking and cycling around there. the scenery is pretty...air feels fresh. not to mention, you become a source of food for loads of mosquitoes...

*scratch scratch*

my bf's friends all went to spend a night there. both of us only went there and hang out for a while and left a few hours later... we played games and drank whisky there and i thought i'll be tired enough to go sleep. i'm so wrONg... siGh.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

20th year agendas

my birthday has just passed by a few hours. no more TEENs. i can't say i'm nineteen anymore. i AM twenty. eWwww... *spit spit*

what an old hag i have become. i can virtually feel my skin loosing the elasticity and my boobs sagging while my bones start to ache.

muAHhah...ok, not that serious, but yes...i can feel the extra one year now. can't really avoid it anyway but think about the bright side, one more year and i'm an adult. means total freedom and err... no more panicking when going to places that require 21 years and above e.g. clubs and casinos. yAY!

on wednesday, i celebrated with my collegemates in Lecka-lecka, in front of Starhill KL. thanx and hugs and kisses from me to those who came and to those who got me the pretty dress. muAxxx.... thank you thank you. and that cake... Yummm, i know what you guys are up to. make me gain weight rite? hahah that's why you all made me bring back HALF of the cake!!

on thursday, my birthday eve. just spent the afternoon with my darling and erm... did nothing much. spent most of our time getting stuck in the jam. what a day! then had the 'countdown' thingy in Steven's Corner with jamie, carmen and the bfs. thankx guys..for the muffin. :) the boss was really sweet, he spent us makan some super big fried crab. uber sweet of him. have to admit the buttons on my short nearly flew out, and felt the additional unwanted fats spilling from the side of my shorts. ate damn alot that day. *buRP*

TODAY, my big day. spent the morning in class, afternoon with agony and night with fooD. it's not as perfect as i wanted today to be. but good enough. my afternoon was terrible, wasted a lot of time from some misunderstanding plus traffic jam in KL.

what the fuck is the people in government doing because i see hell lots of pot holes everywhere. now i wonder where the taxes went b'cos we're not getting anything good from government. look at the bloody roads and you'll know some rich politician buggers are laughing with golds spilling out from their mouth.

ANYway, at night we had seafood dinner in teluk gong, Klang. now a tips for some of you, go anywhere BUT the one called 'seafood restaurant teluk gong sdn. bhd.' it's da first restaurant when you turn into teluk gong. bloody banned that restaurant. the food sucKS like shit. i was never picky about food but i'm complaining, you do the thinking.

haha..and there was another cake from jamie, yan girl, kah mun and the rest. thanx girls... and er women. mmUAXxx! btw, i'm so sad...suet li never come *sobs*. plus a soft huggable doggy from edmund. plus kisses from my darling... i'm a happy 20-year-old hag.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

woRth the lauGh...

ok, it's not just worth the laugh. it's hilarious! i'm supposed to be studying.. yes, i know. it's less than 2 weeks before exam. but damn, can't control myself. i have to waste my time and loathe around. but the good news? look what i found while surfing around. hahah...

really..... i'm still trying to figure out whether it's really box 'box' or its a figure of speech. and then, there's these donkeys who really asked him lotsa funny Q.

(if you can't read the one i post on my blog, go to the original website,

Monday, April 03, 2006

totally smitten

i cannot believe what i just heard from him. all of a sudden, he said he has one good news and one bad news for me. the good news doesn't sound really good because it makes no difference to me, but the bad news.... sigh. no comments. he probably already had this on his mind few days ago. that explains why he was so nice and spoilt me alot since the past few days. even insists in seeing me almost everyday, it used to be my role when it comes to being the manja girlfriend.

well, it's all clear now. probably he felt bad for having to do that. i never blame him though, he should do that and he has no choice anyway. so... wat's going to happen is he's probably going back sabah for erm...3 weeks or so? starting from the week after my birthday. which means.... he won't be here for me during my study break and exam period. no one to de-stress me, no one to accompany me have kopi O's, no one to pamper me and make me go home everyday. no one to motivate me to study and concentrate. *sobs* plus... jamie got bf redi... won't have time to accompany me. *sobS* kah mun, my yam cha better be free. and of course...hor yan and the others too. 'layan' me!

i can recall what happened when he went to sabah fro CNY for 10 days...i was almost going crazy. this time, it's 3 weeks? i cannot imagine. damN. have to suffer through the exam period alone... this is what i call being lonely. well, it's ok i guess. i can take it... at least i have something to look forward to. he said that if all goes well, i can go take a flight to sabah and meet him after my final exam and he'll take me holiday there. *sobs* how i wish that is going to be true. it better be... he has to make up for this. HmmpHH!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

suFFEr now, enJoy lATer???

it's all because of that.... i have so much to say, but so little energy. let me summarise them:

  1. only two days of work with the F&N roadshow have passed. TWO DAYS ONLY. and i'm already lying down half dead at the end of the day. good thing i'm not going to work for it next week... but then i'll have to go the week after next. hell...all because of extra money. my bf just told me he saw a small patch of purple veins on my thighs. it's that serious alrite...i stand and walked that much. well, at least work was fun and the people there are so friendly. oh.. and funny!
  2. i swear i'm gonna spend a part of the money on holiday this semester break. i don't know how and where...i'm going HOLIDAY. and made my bf promised me he'll take me somewhere at least.
  3. my last assignment is on monday..i'm so happy.bloody happy actually...and i only have one more week of college before my final exam. after the exams, all hell break lose... i'm gonna do everything that i wanted to do but didn't have the time.
  4. i dropped another kilogramme again. that means i drop 2 kg in one month time. one kg was due to assignments... another kg was due to work. i didn't even need to diet. hahah... i should be happy rite?
  5. i haven't studied anything for finals. i'm so doomed and there's so many readings. plus lecturers from USM are all crap. last minute can change the exam format. morOn. from full objectives to 75%essay, 25% objectives. there's like 20 over chapters for marketing subject ok! shit..i have no time at all
  6. i love my boyfriend so much.. he's so sweeeT. beh-tahan... he's jsut too good to be true. slap me... tell me i'm dreaming. ok , don't. let me continue dreaming. hAHA.. he's still so nice and stuffs after 9 months.
  7. i've worked 10 hours today and i'm so tired. my legs are so pain i feel like chopping them off. so yeah... good night. oh and there's photos of me and kah mun in our very attractive uniform. ahhaha ..can u sense sarcasm?'s not too bad. way much better than Lipton's uniform.

Friday, March 31, 2006


damn, i'm feeling so crappy now. the only reason is because there's still another assignment to do. well, other than that, i can't wait for college to end and for semester break to start. i'm gonna appreciate my holidays like heaven when it comes. ONE MORE ASSIGNMENT. *faints* luckily, my group members are all cooperative and we usually finish it up in a jiff. sigh...lucky me. ihate to repeat it, but DAmn, i can't wait for that last assignment to be over.

tomorrow i have to start work already for the F&N tarik-king roadshow thingy. the pay is not too bad but not that good too. enough to make me work for it... but the things i'm doing in that roadshow? adoiZ, i don't even wanna say. embarassing shit... i am really that desperate for money huh? well...the bad news, all those wages from the F&N, Lipton roadshows and survey company ain't coming till it's about JUNE. bloody hell. i'm going to be so poor for 2 months and then got all rich suddenly. headache! already have 2 bad headaches for 2 nights straight. goodness sake...i'm going nuts.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

CTR1 class on 27/3/06

the class on the date mentioned above?
there's NO NEWS about it from mr. shahid.
he FFk-ed me, he din sms me....
so i have no idea where there is class not..
sorry people..
i'll update as soon as he sms
just keep track okie?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


just in case, for those of you who don't understand what's beh-tahan...
it means 'CANNOT STAND'
correction, or maybe it means 'BLOODY CANNOT STAND'
now, that's more like it.
just when i thought i can start to relax after last week's hell and torture.
'thought'.... yeah... exactly... it is never going to happen.
last week's 3 assignment due date nearly killed me.
BTW, one interesting fact to share:i lost one kilo in 2 weeks.
that 2 weeks was the 'assignment-due-date' weeks.
explains why isn't it?
so, i joked and said: "if only there are few more assignments like this ar, i can forget bout dieting because this is far more efficient in weight loss"
talking bout dreams come true. hECK!
tomorrow, there's marketing test.
next tuesday, duedate for Thinking Skills 1000-words essay.
next wednesday??
BM presentation (maybe).
Marketing presentation.
duedate for Marketing audit.
see man...see!!!
no need to diet redi, don't even have the appetite to eat these days.
plus i vomit when i over-stress.
now, sore throat and sick for 2 days already.
goSh, this is killing me slowly.

Monday, March 20, 2006

loyaL BUT fLirtAtiouS

now now...i'm not really talking about myeslf. in fact i would like to talk about some guys that i know and probably apply for a lot of guys out there as well. recently, i have found this very shocking discovery. i never realise that things actually happened this way. i thought they did it because of something else. alright... no more guesssing...

the story starts this way, attached/married men who has another girlfriend outside the family is usually very loyal to their girlfriends/wives. maybe not exactly 'LOYAL' but they definitely love them alot. initially, i thought that all guys who did that have only one reason: they are sick and bored of their partners. then i realised i might be a bit wrong...

the fact is (for some guys only, yea? NOT ALL).. they actually lvoes their partners alot alot? and they will do anything to have them back. but you might think, why wanna be such bastards in the first place by being with other girls at the same time? i asked, and i got no answer. they really couldn't give me an answer. they didn't know why. i didn't know why either. so let's put it this way, it's just a 'NATURAL' thing in some guys? hUh? what the fuCk rite?

girls who heard about these kind of stories will definitely label them bastards/fuckers/player... you name it. but i guess we will never know the truth. i was one of those normal girls too... if i hear people saying "he has a gf/wife, but he's with another girl too", i'll exclaim "wAH !!suCh BAstARDS!" now, after i hear a few true life stories, i doubt myself too whether i was being biased or not without knowing the truth.

one story i heard was, he's married and he's really young and his wife was his first girlfriend. they dated since form 2 or something and married a few years after that... and now they're still married with kids. seems like a very nice guy, yes..he is actually. the real turn off maybe is the fact that he haD gfs before with his 'married' status. but he didn't cheat on those girls..they knew he's married and yet they wanna be with him. AND he still loves his wife and goes home no matter what. why? i dunno. mistery remain unsolved.

another story, this guy's really flirtatious. goes clubbing and seems like he doesn't care whether he has a gf not... the truth is, he likes this girl since form 1 till now. it's 11 years already. and he still wants her.. the problem? he's very shy and he can't be himself whenever he faces that girl. i guess he just made himself look like a player to disguise his very 'embarassing weakness'? this, i have no idea too.

and these few guys who happened to be my friends, i don't know whether to critic them or admire their ' unfaltering loyaly'. but anyhow, they're still ,my friends... and i kinda accepted that fact calmly. with a little bit of my lecture of course. what? i can't control myself. dang.

but hell, i won't care more or less unless he's my boyfriend. but if my bf is like that, i don't think i can take it so calmly anymore. probably just grab a knive or stick nearby and chase him to hell.. hAhaha...

Sunday, March 19, 2006

blab-bery and chit-chatty

erm...let's see. where to start? damn, it's such a hectic lifestyle. i don't even know what top talk about first. there's so many things i wanna say...! i mean, 'type'.

ok, i'll start from... the.... err....argHH. i forgot. anyway, last few days have been really really crazy and super tiring. i didn't have a proper sleep for almost a week. even worse, on thursday night, i was typing from 12.30 am to 12 pm friday. that's almsot 12 hours that i spent on my assignment, typing adn typing non-stop. thus, i sacrificed my beauty sleep. i wanted to give up so many times, thinking "what the heck, i'll just donate that bloody 20% away. there's too much stress to bear with". anywhow, i made through it. BUT i knew my essay was a piece of shit. i was just hoping for a few marks worth because i made such big sacrifice (beauty sleep). mUAHahhaz... fuck dat assignment lar. i'm so so thorugh with it! finally.... i'm quite peaceful now. that day i was so stress that i vomitted and diarhoea-ed. and i couldn't breathe most of the time.... Friggin siCkening!

thinking bout it makes me all sick again. if only there's a few more assignments like this, i need not worry about planning to diet. *breathes out* now that i'm all relaxed again... hm...oh yeah. this is a must-mention-thingy. JAMIE'S BIRTHDAY. well..we celebrated for her in tiffin bay, starhill. there's lotsa pics...but i'm kinda lazy to upload them. er...and there's no jamie inside the photos from my camera. so i'll wait till she uploads. hAha..... only me n carmen used my phone to camwhore.

if possible, ignore the pimple on my left cheek. tQ!

btw, an extra note; jamie's in love. so is carmen.

ok, next topIC... i din watch any movies in the past few days. such an achievement! *clap clap*

erm...what else? look, there's just too much to blog about and i don't know which to start first. this is not a crap blog k! hMppH!! of course, now that i remember. BAD DRIVERS. now now, to those of you out there who loves to drive fast, cut lane and put no signal...ur doomed. i always swear at those people who do that. i mean, looK! there's a reason why there's 2 huge lightbulbs at each side of your car, so make full use of it. i really do not mind letting people cut in front of me from the next lane, BUT use your signal dude. SIGNAL! don't anyhow barge in. OR cut lane already, then only put signal; too late. OR put signal at the very last minute; like a milisecond before you turn. rude, no manners and dangerous. you probably could afford to crash your car. i can't.

argHh...see, now i don't know what else to say. too angry. eherm...i have sore throat now. not related. anyways... i so love my boyfriend. s.a.y.a.n.g him to bits...he deserve it. he was being so nice to me the past few days when i was stressing over my assignment. he teman me go drink 3 cups of kopi-o almost every night even though he's sleepy like hell. then, just to make sure i finish my assignment and not waste my time around the house, he stayed in my room with me and wait for me to type finish..until really late at night when he has work the next day. that day on thursday night, he even volunteered to accompany me do my assignment cos he knew i'll be so stressed and bored. but i rejected him...because i knew it's going to take the whole night! and i was righ..i took the whole night ANd whole morning! mwahZ... he's the best!

i lurve my hippo-toy...isn't she cute??!
i kiss her good-night everyday!