Wednesday, December 20, 2006
actually today, i already woke up in time for college. it's jsut too bad that i can't open my eyes after i shut off the alarm so i plop right back onto the pillow and continue sleeping. ahhah how wonderful. and yes, i swear that i'll be in college tomorrow. the class starts at 9 a.m. at least and not 8 a.m.
another sad thing is..... 3 out of 5 days, the class starts at 8 a.m. that's very very devastating.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Astrological signs and car crash (Yahoo)
this semester's result was the best compared to the previous semesterS. not only i didn't fail any single subjects... the lowest grade was a B. no B minus also...
thinking that my eyes deceived me, i scroll up and down and up again and i read carefully if it was MY results. and yes!! my name was there, it's mine! HOHOHO! oops...sorry, i'm not trying to brag, no intention at all cos i know i'm just a moderate student. but... this is the best x'mas present. i'm just too happy. God, forgive me. i mean, i knew i screwed up a paper or two. plus i skip my presentation for one of the subjects. anyway...
i'm a happy student...! and there's a person who stayed up with me the whole night, accompanying me burn the midnight oil. MuAX!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
well, what do you know? we made through it again. i really have no clue how long this is going to last but for now it just seems that we always have a way of patching things up.
on the other hand, i still cannot forget him. although i don't think so much about the past anymore and how much i wanted him back... i still can't break lose from the memories we had together. even seeing car plate numbers that looked like his, i'll think bout him (even of the numbers are jumbled up).
maybe i should stop thinking and planning but let everything happen naturally. i already lost him and there's nothing i can do no matter how much i tried. yes, i tried and i failed and i'm beginning to give up.
Monday, December 11, 2006
AND WHAT AM I STILL DOING?
All the non-productive things of course! sigh.... rot around, sit at home to watch dvd and other crap shows. wth, this is so boring. know what? i really miss those days i went PD. the chalet was beautiful and cosy enough, and i get to watch sunset every single day from the chalet. if only i don't need to study and make a living, i will just stay there for a month and forget everything else. heaven!
i know it's bit early for day-dreaming.. it's so bored at home i don't know what else to do man. somebody get a knife and stab me! arGGHHhHhhhh.....
i can't stand it... i can't stay at home anymore. whenever i sit in my room, i'll see the candle that he bought me and the message on it. the message that gave me hope in the beginning but when i rely heavily on it, he didn't keep his promise. anyway, non of this is his fault. it all started from me and i hurt not only one but 2 guys.
then, there's this other guy who went through alot so that we can be together. but unfortunately, we were not compatible, and we have different views on evrything important. he don't understand my actions and i don't understand his. friction causes fire and fire causes injury. i wonder why are we still holding on. that makes sense alrite...
damn... i should get my arse out of the house or i'll really go nuts.
Friday, December 08, 2006
thinking back, i still remember how sweet he used to treat me. he wouldn't pick fight with me at all, will not argue and jsut tolerate even if i'm the wrong one. he will do anything to make me happy, even if it means buying me a stupid handbag when he's broke. constantly giving me surprises until the very end, even on the times we were drifting apart.
well, it's all me to be blamed. he only did something minor to trigger me and i started all this problems. i hurt him while he's away from me... i did everything possible to kill a good man's love for me.
sigh.... i guess i'm still drowning with guilt and regret. and with my stupidity, i unconsciously turned out the last chance to be with him again. now that things are not going to be the same with him anymore, i gave up. i remember telling him that i'll still try to get him back no matter wat and i kept that for a few months until recently i realise, i give up. i an't do it anymore... i can't bear the situation we're in when we see each other now. he already has a girlfriend and i think he loves her quite a bit.
he's officially not mine and i'm probably going to be with someone for quite some time. i still wish he'll wants me back one day... one very fine day.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
and many many things have changed, i can say it's almost every aspect of my life.
but since i couldn't online, i couldn't update the blog...
one thing's for sure, i didn't change my degree course.
but other than that....
i've made many mistakes and i lost the man whom i loved so much.
also realise that i am not so bubbly and cheerful anymore after facing so much of problems.
i'm so prone to crying, i think i'm a better cry baby than jamie cos i can cry almost anytime (just trigger me).
i sleep very late, bout 4 a.m. everyday and wake up in the afternoon.
i have no mood to go to shopping complexes... which means i seldom shop already.
i travel alot around malaysia in one month's time...which includes langkawi, port dickson, melaka, and the most recent: penang.
i no more haver curly hair but rebonded hair.
Monday, July 31, 2006
maybe it's a wee bit late to talk about that now...but i really thought i should blog it down. so that i can read about in future and laugh/cry about it. it's been so long since i traditionally use paper and pen to 'blog' (a.k.a. diary).
the one year celebration with my bf was almost a month ago now. he made me really happy that day. i was so touched i cried; which is rare. also very guilty cos of the way i treated him. he really didn't deserve me after all. he's just too good and too nice...100% potential good husband. and what did i do for him in return? nothing much... maybe i invested so much of energy and effort last time, it hit me back the other way round now.
he brought me up to genting that night so that we can chill out, have tea and stuff. halfway up, he stopped at somewhere deserted and dark... now now, i dun want any minds drifting somewhere...
bf: you wait in the car for a while yea? don't look at the back and don't get out of the car.
me: huh? y? what are you doing? why cannot go out?
being mischevious, i climbed to the back seat and tried to peep.
bf: cannot see la ok! wait a while...
me: yer....y? what is it? faster lar....faster!
bf: ok! you can come out now.. fast fast!
when i look into the boot, omg... it was so beautiful! he sticked glow-in-the-dark stars everywhere and lighted little candles around. one huge heart-shaped candle. lucky he didn't burn his boot. there's also one butterfly stuck on the boot. and... a bouquet of different-coloured roses. he had prepared all those things since a few weeks ago, hunting for those small small gifts.
i don't know how i felt that time. it was a mixture of happy, surprised, touched, sad, guilty... oh, i duno.
that's the highlight of my anniversary. a truly spectacular one. one which i can remember really well because it's different. it was all da effort that makes it shine isn't it?
Thursday, July 20, 2006
my holidays have long ended, like 2 weeks ago. i've already attended classes for 2 weeks now and it's just torture. having too many subjects in one sem is a problem.... what's more worse is 4 out of 5 days, my classes start at 8 am. Everyone who knows me well enough, especially collegemates know i have problem with early classes. it's either i won't appear cos i overslept or i'll probably be late and be marked absent anyway! the bright side of the story is, my dark eye circles are fading slowly because i'm sleeping much much earlier now... i take afternoon naps almost everyday after college.... and i don't experience any insomnia anymore. just plop on the bed and i transform into a pig faster than sailormoon's transformation (some funny fella said this, not my idea).
another depressing thing... i have 6 subjects this sem and EVERY single one of them seems like hell. one week into the college and we're supposed to start doing assignments... and it's not only one. they're SEVERAL bloody killer-assignments each subjects. *calculate* that makes it more than 10 assignments to do.
well, at least the past 2 weeks have been very peaceful for me (minus the college). the major problem that makes me pull my hair out? it kinda subsided for a while... doesn't mean it's gone. it's still there but it's less of a bugger now. i'm so glad for the harmonious environment now. i know i have to face it again someday soon, and i mean 'really soon'. i don't want to delay it either at the cost of having someone else drown in misery. especially when i hurt someone i love dearly just so that i can avoid the problem for a little while. i nearly solved it once and for all, but it didn't work out. there's lack of compromising. i'm so SELFISH... i know that too. there's no need for reminders.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
just when i thought that life was about to get back on track because i tried to do something about it, God came and prove it to me that i will never get it my way. MEAN!
it's after many many times of trying to set everything back on track, trying to repair things here and there, maybe avoiding certain stuffs and breaking a few rules... the consequences would be a repaired-life. one that gets better than the previous and one that is meant to be the right way to happen.
it never happens... it just get worse. sO, a piece of miserable advice for my friends; DON'T bother changing your life. let it change you would be the easier and hassle-free way.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
so it's been a week since i last update my blog. and i can tell you what the heck i did in just a few sentences? why? Because it's the same thing everyday!! what a simple life... i'm getting the hang of it. having the holidays and becoming a 'fai' (useless) person everyday doing nothing but yam cha and going out. isn't that err....sad? or..relaxing? whatever...although i miss college, i know i'll miss my holidays more when class starts.
it's always waking up in the morning or afternoon to go eat. then after eating, maybe walk around midvalley or one utama or wherever that can waste time. then i have my 'hi-tea session'; which means yam cha again. then chit chat plus drinks...and waste time again. then without realising, it's dinner time. SO? time to go dinner... (eat again). after dinner, it's time to go Steven's corner to watch football. what you expect? football mania this month isn't i? and i get to win some money.. (sssh...it's illegal and i'm blogging bout it openly. hahaha sue me!)
i'm just back from yam cha and there's nothing else to do till evening so here i am blogging. and there's no football tonight *sobs*. a must-mention, i was yc-ing with carmen just now and i realised she has quite some good advices up her sleeves. don't think she's blur... because she definitely knows what's going on around her. even know who likes who... ahhha (haha carmen, i think you're right. i think she likes him). we even analysed the whole drama together and made up the conclusion. poor 'kai yeh'! he sounded like he was framed when carmen ask him that question.*breaks into laughter*
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
i was just back from Steven's Corner and the match between USA and Italy was quite interesting although i only watched the first half. i have no idea what's the result at the end of the game but i guess i couldn't bother more or less isn't it? i didn't bet on any games and i guess the thrill isn't so strong.
for the past few days, most of the mamaks are filled with people (as long as there's tv). even the mamaks who are usually empty and business-less are filled with people. whenever there's a goal being scored, u can see people jumping up or punching the air with their hands... shouting 'GOAL!' or whatever it is that sounds like 'YAY!'.
either they're betting on the game, that's why they're so excited (most prob winning). then we can see who's betting on the losing team (those who look grim and not punching the air!). OR these people can be just hardcore football fan. Hmmph....i bet most of them are betting!
all these football fever caused me to waste time looking for parking when going to Stevven's Corner at night! and also waste time looking for empty tables!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
it happened to me and i felt that it might just be the worse thing that can happen to you on earth, other than Armageddon. all this while i've tried really hard to make him trust me and believe me, but i was able to destroy the trust that i build over the months with just one lie. although there really wasn't any harm done behind the lie, suspicion now exists between us. we always look for ways to confirm the truth no matter what the other person says... seeing becomes believing and words are no more than a meaningless grumble.
just after one incident and a few discussions that follows, things were never the same again. one became sensitive and is always suspicious, making him take drastic lengths to find out whether he was being told the truth. the other person becomes very afraid and gets the feeling she's being checked upon most of the time.
there were great disappointment when she was telling nothing but the truth and yet he still wants to check on her to prove it. that alreadys shows how much trust has evaporated since the last few weeks. on the other hand, she couldn't trust him when he says he just want to see her while she's out with her friends... because she could sense that he wants to check on her.
can't life goes on without too much of a drama?
Sunday, May 21, 2006
so last week was road trip week. this week was more like a problematic one. however, i had my fun already of course. you really think i'm gonig to go through another week without the 'fun' word? Monday, we went to Genting. together with jamie, carmen, hor yan and edmund; it was a very happy gathering. we talked and laughed and did all kinds of stupid things. we cam whored with our handphones in Coffee Bean and after Edmund told us he has a camera inside his car, we took pics using his digi cam non stop. in the lift, hotel lobby, in front of the toilet, in the parking lot, beside his car and in his car while he drove. we even took pics when we saw this spot halfway down genting because from there we can have a beautiful view of KL city. little did i know that this trip to have coffee in genting caused some other problems as well.
then for the next few days... i'm always in Mid Valley and Wong Kok, no where else but that 2 place. got to go office in IGB tower almost everyday. it's getting quite sickening.... sad. i'm now very very bored of midvalley and i can memorise almost all the shops there.
guess there's not much to be said anymore but a problematic week. in the outside where i can laugh and enjoy with my friends, i have to endure the pain of having to argue with my bf. actually it was more like a discussion kind of thing between us. not much argument.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
i can't say whether it is entirely a good thing or a bad thing but all i can say is i'm still trying to get used to how things are going right now. need to adapt to the new environment.
what has happened most probably is my fault. i led it to this road and made things become the way it is right now. it has gone too far for me to turn back. i can't navigate it to the alternative way either. the funny thing is, i didn't even regret on what i did.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Friday, May 05, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
- nausea and vomitting
- difficulty in breathing
- skin diseases/dry skin
- delayed periods
- headaches and migraine
- dark circles under the eye
- short tempered
so, yes...YES. i've experienced all that. ALL okay? damn da exams. fine, damn me too for studying last minute. it's my fault for not being able to remember if i study too early. i can never study too early cos in the end i won't remember anything! yeaps..that's it. enough of self-blame. i know i'll pass all my papers. i think i know. or, i'm hoping. whatever. my life will be back on track after this friday.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
ironic. i remember being so semangat in the beginning of this semester, telling myself that i'm going to do better this sem and to be more hardworking.
study, study, study; i told myself.
no BIG P [ProcrastinatiOn]; i warned myself.
Avoid last minute work; i reminded myself.
and now, it's all down the drain... washed away to the sea because i don't see them anymore.
hangat-hangat tahi ayam. THAT's mE alright.
birtdAy dInneR in Klang.
from left: iris - sUmathi - leRoy - saMmy - diAn [notice the colors]
from left: sammy- sElina - reNa - chEryl - sOo chia
soo chia - stePhanie - saMMy wEndy
not to forget Yin LI and Foong.. (no pICs).
pressie [dress] from collegemates...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
i'm so so free now. i've decided to do some nonsense online. besides, i can't put myself to bed after a few cups of alcohol. *buRp*
then a friend sent me some quiz from tickle.com, about what is my true color... and my result is this...
Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.
*** in conclusion, i'm passionate, impulsive, romantic, fickle-minded and alive!
went to Taman Pertanian, Shah Alam just now. it's like a reserved forest with windy roads and chalets far from one another. those chalets are meant to be reserved by people, you know, to enjoy the relaxing environment and run away from hectic city life. for activities, we can go jungle trekking and cycling around there. the scenery is pretty...air feels fresh. not to mention, you become a source of food for loads of mosquitoes...
my bf's friends all went to spend a night there. both of us only went there and hang out for a while and left a few hours later... we played games and drank whisky there and i thought i'll be tired enough to go sleep. i'm so wrONg... siGh.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
my birthday has just passed by a few hours. no more TEENs. i can't say i'm nineteen anymore. i AM twenty. eWwww... *spit spit*
what an old hag i have become. i can virtually feel my skin loosing the elasticity and my boobs sagging while my bones start to ache.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
ok, it's not just worth the laugh. it's hilarious! i'm supposed to be studying.. yes, i know. it's less than 2 weeks before exam. but damn, can't control myself. i have to waste my time and loathe around. but the good news? look what i found while surfing around. hahah...
(if you can't read the one i post on my blog, go to the original website, http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/8339/Man_Sells_Wife_s_Box_On_eBay)
Monday, April 03, 2006
Sunday, April 02, 2006
it's all because of that.... i have so much to say, but so little energy. let me summarise them:
- only two days of work with the F&N roadshow have passed. TWO DAYS ONLY. and i'm already lying down half dead at the end of the day. good thing i'm not going to work for it next week... but then i'll have to go the week after next. hell...all because of extra money. my bf just told me he saw a small patch of purple veins on my thighs. it's that serious alrite...i stand and walked that much. well, at least work was fun and the people there are so friendly. oh.. and funny!
- i swear i'm gonna spend a part of the money on holiday this semester break. i don't know how and where...i'm going HOLIDAY. and made my bf promised me he'll take me somewhere at least.
- my last assignment is on monday..i'm so happy.bloody happy actually...and i only have one more week of college before my final exam. after the exams, all hell break lose... i'm gonna do everything that i wanted to do but didn't have the time.
- i dropped another kilogramme again. that means i drop 2 kg in one month time. one kg was due to assignments... another kg was due to work. i didn't even need to diet. hahah... i should be happy rite?
- i haven't studied anything for finals. i'm so doomed and there's so many readings. plus lecturers from USM are all crap. last minute can change the exam format. morOn. from full objectives to 75%essay, 25% objectives. there's like 20 over chapters for marketing subject ok! shit..i have no time at all
- i love my boyfriend so much.. he's so sweeeT. beh-tahan... he's jsut too good to be true. slap me... tell me i'm dreaming. ok , don't. let me continue dreaming. hAHA.. he's still so nice and stuffs after 9 months.
- i've worked 10 hours today and i'm so tired. my legs are so pain i feel like chopping them off. so yeah... good night. oh and there's photos of me and kah mun in our very attractive uniform. ahhaha ..can u sense sarcasm? kidding..it's not too bad. way much better than Lipton's uniform.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
now now...i'm not really talking about myeslf. in fact i would like to talk about some guys that i know and probably apply for a lot of guys out there as well. recently, i have found this very shocking discovery. i never realise that things actually happened this way. i thought they did it because of something else. alright... no more guesssing...
the story starts this way, attached/married men who has another girlfriend outside the family is usually very loyal to their girlfriends/wives. maybe not exactly 'LOYAL' but they definitely love them alot. initially, i thought that all guys who did that have only one reason: they are sick and bored of their partners. then i realised i might be a bit wrong...
Sunday, March 19, 2006
erm...let's see. where to start? damn, it's such a hectic lifestyle. i don't even know what top talk about first. there's so many things i wanna say...! i mean, 'type'.
ok, i'll start from... the.... err....argHH. i forgot. anyway, last few days have been really really crazy and super tiring. i didn't have a proper sleep for almost a week. even worse, on thursday night, i was typing from 12.30 am to 12 pm friday. that's almsot 12 hours that i spent on my assignment, typing adn typing non-stop. thus, i sacrificed my beauty sleep. i wanted to give up so many times, thinking "what the heck, i'll just donate that bloody 20% away. there's too much stress to bear with". anywhow, i made through it. BUT i knew my essay was a piece of shit. i was just hoping for a few marks worth because i made such big sacrifice (beauty sleep). mUAHahhaz... fuck dat assignment lar. i'm so so thorugh with it! finally.... i'm quite peaceful now. that day i was so stress that i vomitted and diarhoea-ed. and i couldn't breathe most of the time.... Friggin siCkening!
thinking bout it makes me all sick again. if only there's a few more assignments like this, i need not worry about planning to diet. *breathes out* now that i'm all relaxed again... hm...oh yeah. this is a must-mention-thingy. JAMIE'S BIRTHDAY. well..we celebrated for her in tiffin bay, starhill. there's lotsa pics...but i'm kinda lazy to upload them. er...and there's no jamie inside the photos from my camera. so i'll wait till she uploads. hAha..... only me n carmen used my phone to camwhore.
btw, an extra note; jamie's in love. so is carmen.
ok, next topIC... i din watch any movies in the past few days. such an achievement! *clap clap*
erm...what else? look, there's just too much to blog about and i don't know which to start first. this is not a crap blog k! hMppH!! of course, now that i remember. BAD DRIVERS. now now, to those of you out there who loves to drive fast, cut lane and put no signal...ur doomed. i always swear at those people who do that. i mean, looK! there's a reason why there's 2 huge lightbulbs at each side of your car, so make full use of it. i really do not mind letting people cut in front of me from the next lane, BUT use your signal dude. SIGNAL! don't anyhow barge in. OR cut lane already, then only put signal; too late. OR put signal at the very last minute; like a milisecond before you turn. rude, no manners and dangerous. you probably could afford to crash your car. i can't.
argHh...see, now i don't know what else to say. too angry. eherm...i have sore throat now. not related. anyways... i so love my boyfriend. s.a.y.a.n.g him to bits...he deserve it. he was being so nice to me the past few days when i was stressing over my assignment. he teman me go drink 3 cups of kopi-o almost every night even though he's sleepy like hell. then, just to make sure i finish my assignment and not waste my time around the house, he stayed in my room with me and wait for me to type finish..until really late at night when he has work the next day. that day on thursday night, he even volunteered to accompany me do my assignment cos he knew i'll be so stressed and bored. but i rejected him...because i knew it's going to take the whole night! and i was righ..i took the whole night ANd whole morning! mwahZ... he's the best!
i lurve my hippo-toy...isn't she cute??! i kiss her good-night everyday!