Monday, December 28, 2009

self-layan pre-2010

eherm. cough. clear throat.

for the sake of having the last post of 2009 up, i'm gonna ramble for no particular reason.

i thought i was the only person who rarely blogs anymore.
But when i see the blog links of my friends, I felt like i fit in the group again...

BECAUSE almost everyone has not been blogging for months and a year!

*self layan is still layan*

And i'm bored shitless in the office, and that's probably what's happening to other companies as well when all are suddenly clearing the leave.

*what should i layan now?*

oh, and i feel old.. so OLD that i tak layan christmas anymore.
Probably won't layan new year too.
I mean i have celebrated it 23 times.
What is different?

Btw, santa. I even forgot to wish for a gift.
Can i do it post-xmas? Like now?

I want a Blackberry.

Thank you.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

RIP John Tan, with love.

I have no idea what to blog for quite some time.
Nothing amuses me anymore, life is not mundane, but nothing was out of the box.

Monday morning I received a call from someone I least expected to pass me a news that I wouldn't have expected to be so soon.

He has news about John Tan.

The guy who keep me entertained from pm till am over the phone.
The guy who taught me some computer technical terms.
The guy who taught me to listen to some songs.
The guy who told me what was it like to love someone, truly.
The guy who told me the love he has for his family and friends.
The guy who listened to my problems and advises.
The guy who listened to me nag on about my life without prejudice.
The guy who would skip sleeping to listen to me talk.
The guy who I can share secrets with no doubt.
The guy who was my first close male friend.
The guy who became my first puppy love.
The guy who became my first boyfriend.
The guy who let me feel the innocent love of childhood.
The guy who told me I'm special for who I am.
The guy who's understanding and told me I'm the same too.
The guy who made me feel sad and worry for him.
The guy who actually convinced me on LDR.
The guy who disappear on me without notice.
The guy who can make me forget my anger of him when he's back.
The guy who made me wonder of his whereabouts from time to time.
The guy who can live in anonymity without hesitation.
The guy who has great talents but kept low profile.
The guy who many people loved.

Yes, there's finally news about him after last seeing him 4 years ago.

After 4 long years, I met him again.
At his funeral.
He still looks the same.
And I heard he was still himself until his last day.
Low profile, anonymous and full of love (without showing it).
It took half a day for that news to sink in.
That he's no longer around.
That I can finally stop thinking about ways to keep in touch with him.

RIP John, and you'll always be loved by all of us.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Toy Boy? Schweett..

That guy has balls to go on a leashed parade.

But the 'Pretty Woman' song makes my hair stand. I don't know why.

If that's what Miss World Malaysia 2009 is about, kudos!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

wrong timing

I was chatting with a friend about our history on relationships.

Then I replied, "I'm always on wrong timing" for some question he asked.
I then realised, it's either wrong timing or I'm so stubborn, I like doing things the opposite way.
I just like rebelling.
Or Chinese called it 'fan jin'.

When there's someone who likes me, I don't.
In some cases, I like them after they stopped liking me.

OR, I will like someone and he doesn't like me.
Just when I got over him, he'll give hints that he likes me now.

But it's all fruitless ordeals because of the wrong timing.
So am I 'fan jin' or I'm just cursed with stepping on the stone at the wrong time?

I'm confused now.
So, I guess if it wasn't because of the wrong timing, I wouldn't have ended up with the wrong guys?
Bad assumption.

Still confused.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Scarry moment

I suddenly realised I have so many scars on me at the moment.

Probably have been collecting them for a while, because they go back to months ago when I was tracing back when I got each of it.

I have this surgery scar on my stomach and it's turning redder now. I still remember wishing it would be skin-coloured scar so that it's not so obvious. I think it's the alcohol making it red.

Then there's this scar on my knee when I fell on the way down from hiking Broga. It's now dark brown in colour, the size of 20cents. My tendency to scratch the scab previously has probably left me a very visible scar.

Related to the scar on my knee, is my sprained left ankle. If I move it at this certain angle or fling my leg around, then it will hurt. I'm quite sure this injury will come back to haunt me at old age.

The scab on mt left index finger has just came off yesterday. I accidentally stapled it almost 2 weeks ago.

On my left arm, there's this scar, also scab came off last few days. I scratched myself when I was bathing just because I was rubbing 'daki' out. (Don't laugh!)

Then my face has red-brown pimple scars all over. Few weeks ago, they started emerging as much as I had prayed for more money. I feel like a teen again, when the puberty hits.

And then I fell in the toilet almost 2 weeks ago when my dog was chasing me around. I landed on my butt with a thud! Couldn't remember much though, most probably because I'm a bit high on alcohol. Now it's dark purple and the bruise is bigger than a 50cents.

I am scarred!!!

If I'm ever suspected dead but unidentifiable, do look for all the scars above. I don't think any other girls will have as much scars as me. Thanks.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Trashes in Archive

Just when you thought my blog is dead, I'm back again :)

And while I left blogger opened on my Explorer for half a day, I found something to share.
These are some of the weird/sick/funny/sad/touching emails that I found in my email archive.

YEAR 2010

Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.

Has any one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It gets worse........

next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
(I wonder too!)

Irena Sendler

This is for everyone who is not recognized for the good deeds they do.
And this is true!
The prize doesn't always go to the most deserving; it goes to those who want to push the agenda.

In May 2008, a 98 year-old Polish lady named Irena Sendler died.

During WWII, she got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist but she had an ulterior motive. She KNEW of the Nazi's plans for the Jews. Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and, in the back of her truck, she had a burlap sack for the larger children. She had a dog in the back of the truck that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the noise of the children. She managed to smuggle out and save 2,500 children before she was caught; the Nazis broke both her legs and her arms and beat her severely.

Irena kept a record of the names of all the children that she smuggled out which she kept in a glass jar buried under a tree in her back yard. After the War, she tried to locate any parents that had survived and reunited the families. Most, of course, had been gassed but she helped those children to be placed into foster family homes or adopted.

In 2007, Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize but was not selected. Al Gore won - for a slide show on Global Warming!


Interviewer: "What is your birth date?"
Dumb : "13th October."
Interviewer : "Which year?"
Dumb: "Every year."

The Manager asked Dumb at an interview... .
"Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Dumb replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O- X."

A tourist from U.S.A. asked Dumb whether any great man was born in his village...
Dumb said, "No sir, only babies were born here."

Dumb was doing an experiment with a cockroach.
First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!"
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off its second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Dumb said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."

Dumb went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Dumb pointed towards the signboard "* WASH BASIN * "

Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Dumb: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. "

At a political rally, Dumb was arrested.
Why??? Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "*PRESS*" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!

*Name has been changed to Dumb to avoid any misunderstanding*

Blogging with caution is one hell of a headache, as we all know, the funniest forwarded email you get is always not politically/racially correct.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Pringles says 'Click Me'

This is a really cool website banner by Pringles.

Keeps people hooked on to it.

And won Gold Lion in Cannes.

Enough said.

Warning: Make sure you really have ample of time, and is bored shitless if you want to click on it. Because you'll can't stop clicking.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Hey twilight fans!

I love the Twilight movie more than alot of people. So much, that I bought and read all the 3 sequels in two weeks time.

Edward Cullen is cute... very hypnotising to be exact. And is probably the sweetest, most loving vampire around (if vampires do exist).

But I'm not that hardcore of a fan yet. Not till I'll tattoo words/phrases/images of Twilight onto any parts of my body. Not even on my fingernails, no thanks.

You guys who imprinted Twilight onto your skin permanently really showed me the extend of a 'hardcore fan'. I surrender, and bow in respect.

My favourite phrases:

"If I could dream at all, it would be about you."

"There are no rules that can bind you when you find your other half."


To those who chose a nice design, good for you.

To those who chose a not-so-nice design by an inexperienced artist, chillex. Be grateful that laser tattoo removal now exists.

End note: Thanks to Lainey who posted up about this on Facebook.

Images from

Roller coaster to hell

A dear friend once told me:
"Life is like a roller coaster. It will go down and come up again."

I remember being so pessimistic, replying:
"You forgot the gravititional force, it comes down faster and lower than it will go up."

Which is true, if you put physics in the theory.

The roller coaster I'm on seems to be on its way down to hell, because I don't see the bend that curves up. I'm emotionally and physically harrased.

First there's the surgery to go through.

Then more injuries along the way. Got smacked by basketball, sprained an ankle, scabs and scratches all over, paper cuts...

Then emotionally, you tend to dedicate your heart to the wrong person and another person dedicate feelings that I do not intend to want.

I am drained from work and have thought about going back to studies more often nowadays. Things used to be more busy previously but recently, I just can't take it anymore. To make things worse, I'm agitated at every single thing in work.

I wanted to quit smoking but failed. It's probably a psychological thing, it gives me the comfort and takes my mind off things.

At least I lost my fondness on alcohol !

Monday, July 13, 2009

the RARE exception

People are always making assumptions by generalising things.
Do they ever realised that most things will not happen 101% as how it usually happens?
Or, do they NOT realise that some rare people have very different characters that do not comply with the norm?
That they could be the rare exception?

It's like how most people will say 'I'm sure she's with him because of his money' if they saw this really young pretty lady with an old balding man.

And how people will think, 'He must be driving his dad's car' if they saw a boy driving a Ferrari.

I'm not gonna be pretentious by saying that I don't do that.
In fact, I do it very often.

However, when it comes to feelings, I never practice it.
Feelings are so subjective and the way that each human respond to it varies.
The marginal error is probably 90%.
That's a big continuum for possibility of error.
You think?

Even if 9 out of 10 friends tell me the same thing, regarding feelings...
I never believed them.
Until I get sucked into it.
I then made my point and proved all 9 were wrong.
But do I wish they're right.

Sadly, the reality does not bend over its back for your own liking.
Nor does it treat you any better than what we call 'cruelty'.

End note: I'm very sure someone will come and comment that I'm a drama. :)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Important story to tell.

Random recents in short sarcastic sentences:

Worked till for 7.30am this morning for 21 effing hours straight.
Got back, looked in the mirror to find a haggard disastrous looking person staring back.
Went to the fridge, grabbed a chilled mask, plaster it on the face, shut all curtain and windows, on the aircon and slept.
Woke up 2 hours later to find the mask had dried off all its moisturising essence and realised it's time to go office again.
Menggila in the office for another 5 hours.
Headed straight to Starbucks to chill 'cos no one is free to dine with me.
Typed this gila-fying pointless entry.

Let me tell you a story about the sun.
I went back home from work this morning with the sun rising.
On the same day, I went back home from work for the second time with the sun setting.

Now, let me tell you what I saw while I'm typing this:
- Two half naked fat boy just walked past me, their bellies jiggling like Jell-O.
- This guy next to my table was staring at this other girl from another table, exchanged glances and the girl giggled.
- oH, the two jell-O bellies boys walked past again.
- This dude stepped on my laptop charger while walking past me. *stare cock at him*

To end this post, I just want to let you people know that what kinds of rubbish things I say/type/do when I'm high on caffeine and not having enough sleep.

Point proven, no?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

layan-ing bored people.

You know how to layan bored people on MSN?

Like that:

-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
-sammy- says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:
HorYan says:

And we typed in this format the entire time.

I love layaning bored people.
It's equivalent to fun.

Monday, July 06, 2009


Is back to working life but could never let go of the life she had during that one month of stoning.

So what happened when you tried to combine two lifestyle into one?
A slacker life.
A workaholic life.

It becomes an inhumane way of living.

I sleep at the slacker time and wakes up with workaholic time.

I go out and about having outdoor activities that I've not done for a long time.
But also spends a frigging long time in the office walking about like going marathon.

I eat yogurt in the morning and drinks coffee at night.

I treated everynight like a Friday night.

I played basketball 3 times a week and goes hiking without having to nap.

I injured myself and still go limping around, resisting to rest at home.

I think I'm turning inhumane, having endless supply of energy.

I prefer to have the power to teleport, thank you.

that was it.

and it was really just 'that'.

At first it feels like a complicated thing.
To risk it or not to risk it.
Anyone having too much fun wouldn't risk it.
I think I just did.
I always do.

*smack self*

Why can't I for once be an idiot that leech on false hopes and take the dead end road that was laid with beautiful sceneries along the way?

Because an idiot always get the happiness all the way, and end up an idiot only at the end.

The smart ass always tries to be smart in finding out the truth.

And yes, the world is always filled with cruel truth.

Only ignorance brings you away from it.


Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Is sooo in love.

I liked saying 'I'm in love' because I find people love gossips too much to ignore it.

The first assumption: Does she have a boyfriend?

The second assumption: She has a crush on someone?

First reaction: Who Who?

Second reaction: Finally, someone!


I love this little drama too much to ignore it.
I love seeing people getting all so excited.
When the fact is....

I'm not in love with someone. Although I wish I could.

I'm in love with a song, crooning to it.

It's 21 Guns by Green Day.

You got your answer now.
So, stop congratulating me :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Still and stoned.

Wake up in the morning.
Speedy gonzales on the way to work.
On the pc, check emails, reply emails.
Then talk to internal people and client.

It never ever ends and every morning starts the same way.
It always starts with a crisis regardless big or small.
There was nothing different to start my day.
I need sweet and beautiful, not crisis-driven.

Maybe see a rainbow on the way to work.
Maybe a 'good morning' msg from people who missed me.
Maybe breakfast that was waiting on my table.
Maybe seeing everyone smiling away.

Just small little thing like that.
Is what I need to get the morning blues away.
Today I ended up feeling stoned at 7pm.
My mind just stopped ticking right there.

Can't think of what to do, where to go.
Who to see or how i looked.
Drove aimlessly, find a place to chill and stoned.
Really really still, and staring at the space.

I was just waiting for a miracle to happen.
For signs of good news.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Dental nightmare.

I am going to tell stories about my dream again.
I don't know why, but my nightmares are so vivid these days.
No snake this time.

You might have guessed it properly.
My teeth are falling out!!!
I lost 2 teeth, somewhere on the front, and was so obvious.

Then I saw my dog's jaw has blood dripping.
He lost 2 teeth too and blood is oozing out.

Yeap, then it got scary.
I don't know how...but me and my dog lost 2 teeth each.
I was thinking alien abduction.

That's all the crap for today :)

Yesterday was too good and alot of fun.
Urbanscapes & Barsonic:

Artsy fartsy people.
Redbull vodka.
Whacky people.
Da da da da da da dat.. woop woop~

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Father's Day

A creative ad by Durex.

Not that I love this more than my dad..
By putting this up and not wishing him Happy Father's Day.

But this sure cheered me for that few minutes.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Today's morning special.

At 9.30am,

Hitz.FM morning crew said that they hate Mondays. So they are bringing back Friday night.

Then they played songs like 'Love is Gone' and 'Right Round'.

I was bouncing in the car, reminiscing my last Friday night until they decided to end their gimmick.

Their 'boss' called and asked them why are they playing these songs.

They replied,
"We hate Monday so today is Friday"

The 'boss' asked,
"So should I let you all off from work now and come back to work 3 days later since it's Friday now?"

They answered,
"Yes, if you don't mind. Haha!"

The 'boss' demanded,
"Please get back to normal Monday"

Then I went back to sulking to celebrate Monday Blues.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The fallen star still has fans!

Remember the whole drama about Edison Chen, the HK 'star' and his exclusive pictures with the ladies?

Haha! I thought he's as good as dead. No offence.

Few days ago, I received this SMS update from Zouk informing that there will be a party for the launching of 'Juice' clothing store. And Edison will be there (because he co-owns the store) as guest appearance.

I decided then, that I will not go club in Zouk that day as to avoid his crazy bunch of fans.

Apparently, the Juice clothing store is opened in Bangsar and there were news reporting today that Bangsar was flocked with people with massive traffic jams on the launch day. Didn't know if it was Fri or yesterday.

Then I had to laugh when I saw this part of the news in Star Online.
I must laugh, because I so didn't expect this:

Some die-hard fans had camped outside the store as early as the night before to catch a glimpse of Edison.

Leona Feng, an 18-year-old student, said she has been a big fan of Edison since she was in Form 1.

“He’s so handsome and so hot. And he’s multi-talented. He can act and sing. I want to try and get his autograph and touch his hand,” she said.

Oh dear... multi-talented?
I guess I must admit that he is... playing the roles of photographer and film director that led to his drama.

And touch his hand?!

I am no hardcore fan of any particular star, and never was.
Forgive me if I do not understand the mentality of this star-struck-craze.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Bomb landed on my first day.

Was so prepared to go back to work after going off for a month.

Wore a new dress and new pair of heels to celebrate this new beginning.
Beginning that I thought would be great wonderful ones.

Mana tahu...

Received one gempar news in the morning.

Received another super gempar news before lunch. But for my sake, it was not confirmed.
I was just told to emotionally prepare for it.
So I thought it won't happen till another few days or weeks.

After lunch, the super gempar news is confirmed.
And it's sooner than I thought.

What a waste.
I wore new clothes and shoes to celebrate the beginning of my dooms day.

* Can someone just shoved bleach into my throat, blind my eyes, put me in coma so that I don't need to face the monster from the gempar news?!*

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Insurance madness

I don't know how or why, insurance agents from various companies have been calling me.

First there's this Chinese speaking lady from Great Eastern who called me yesterday, insisting I make an appointment with her for further details.
To cut her short, I told her I already bought my own insurance.
She asked me what company.
I told her, and she recommend me to change to Great Eastern.

An excerpt from her excellent speech:

"Do you know what is the ranking of Great Eastern among the insurance companies? Think of it this way, there's 2 piece of clothing that cost the same but one is from G2000, the other from pasar malam. Which one will you buy?"

I refused to answer her.
I thought it sounded quite irrelevant although I got her point.
And she still didn't tell me Great Eastern's rank.
I guess it's No.1?
I told her I'll make an appointment with her this weekend when "I'm free".

Then there's this other guy who called me this morning.
He's from AIA and there's a promo for me cos I just flew on AirAsia.
He talks like a super salesman, high and low voice, loud...

Here's a part of our conversation:

Me: I already have my own insurance. Don't need another.
AIA: You know what?! It's good! If you are hospitalised, you can claim from your insurance, and then claim from us again. That's our first benefit.
Me: I'm really not interested.
AIA: You know, there's still another benefit. During your hospitalisation, they'll pay you RM160 a day. How many days did you stay in the hospital?
Me: 5 days.
AIA: If you stayed 5 days, you'll get RM160 X 5! It's a total of....
Me: Don't need to count. It's RM800. -_-"

In conclusion, he's trying to tell me that I will earn money frm getting hospitalised if I buy insurance from him.
Real joker.

I think I know why I'm getting all these calls from Insurance agents recently.
The hospital I stayed in must be selling patient's information.
Unethical bastards.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Bitchy Mode: ON

Whenever I have nothing productive or interesting to blog about, I'll find something to bitch about.

It's bitching time for this entry.

First, earlier in the day, I hear stories about some bozos who still think my 5-inch surgery cut is minor and doesn't require MC that long. And doesn't like the rumour being passed around that I can still go around smoking/drinking/having fun.

Of course I can! Except for the drinking...

Who told you I'm in a coma?

Read the line above again if you still wonder why I can go around places and smoking.

Why don't you come and ask me yourself huh? I'll show you the wound. It looks wonderful, do consider doing that if you need one month paid leave next time. I assure you more fun that you expected. (Nope, there's no sarcasm here!)

Secondly, I wanted to complain about my hair.
I'm going from daily bad hair days to worst hair days that gets worse everyday.

Why do I have curly and rough hair? I don't mind curly hair if the hair is fine. And I won't mind rough hair if it's straight. Why the combination of the two bad traits?

Blah, I'm so pissy about the first issue, I don't feel like talking so much about hair now.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Found the CURE!

Not the cure to AIDS.
Not the cure to cancer.
But the cure to runny nose, eyes & sickly feeling.

I always get all these little annoying itchiness,
when I'm home and has nothing to do.
Itchy eyes, runny nose, tired aching body, feeling woozy..

The cure is...
To get out of the house and just do something.
Go drink coffee alone, shopping, chat with friends.
And the annoying things will just go away.

What a miracle eh?
No wonder I heal faster than ordinary people after surgery.
I went out looking for friends the day after I got out from hospital!
Started driving 2 days after that!

*evil grin*

Monday, June 08, 2009

Ads on the loose!

Some ads I found online:

This is a Fortis Bank ad from Istanbul.

They're giving out plastic surgery loans (such loan exists?)

I know you must be wondering what is this about.
The copy says: You get the credit, another one pays for it.

Direct translation: The uglier you, go apply for the loan to do plastic surgery. Then the prettier you, have to eat bread as main meal, use fake Gucci, live a rotten life with debts... for years, to repay the loan.

I don't know how it seems like a good deal.
'Another one' is still me at the end, don't deceive me. bah!

Banks are evil! Bad bad bank!


Then, there's this campaign on Levi's Kids which I adored for its cuteness.
They give children's tale a twist.

Tagline: Levi's Kids, For little toughies.

The 3 Little Pigs

Little Miss Muffet

Jack and The Beanstalk

Humpty Dumpty

My favourite! 5 star for you naughty Dumpty!

Don't you just adore this campaign?!

Never knew bedtime stories could be twisted this way.

No wonder I'm no Art Director :(

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Penis, Enemy?

My anaconda dream a few nights ago really scared the shit out of me.
I've never had such scary dreams like this for a long time
It was so vivid, the anaconda head. Urghh...

Was talking to Carmen yesterday and she told me in psychology, snakes in dreams represent penis. I laughed like mad! Then I draw up possible conclusion on what my dream tries to tell me:
  1. That I miss penis, and it's a reminder?
  2. Penis is now trying to scare me?

Well, it would be scary if it represents penis because that anaconda was HUMONGOUS! It curles around a huge tree remember? And such big head. -_-

Oh, there goes my imagination.

So I googled on the 'meaning of snakes in dreams' , and this website ( shows that snake represent hidden fears, and can symbolise the poisonous words and innuendo of the people around me.

If I dreamt of a lone snake, then it might symbolise a bad enemy working against me. If in a snake dream you overcome and kill a threatening snake in your dream, it shows that you will overcome your adversary and win out.

Oh shite, so now it means I have a bad enemy? Since I ran away from it and ended up in psychiatric ward, does that means I won't overcome this enemy and people will think I'm crazy instead?

Darn, my life seems screwed now.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

An Anaconda Dream

is what caused me to wake up 4 hours after sleeping
I rarely remember the details of my dreams
But I remember most part of this
Oh yeah, I did for sure
It's so real, I struggled with my blanket!

Was in the forest with 2 friends
Forgot who were the 2 friends
Don't know what heck we're doing in the forest
Not a threesome for sure, 'cos I'll remember if it is

I turned around and look at one of those huge tree
Saw a big snake twirled around the thick tree trunk
It's huge head jutting out from the top of the tree
Wide opened mouth, showing its almighty fangs

I remember screaming 'ArgggggHHHHhhhhh'
My anonymous 2 friends turned around and mimicked my 'Argghhhh'
I started running like a mad woman
With my mouth open, eye close, still screaming, still running
Just imagine the heroin in a horror movie, you'll get what I mean.

I remember tripping over a tree root
That grows like octopus legs from the ground
Fell unconscious, woke up in hospital
Doctors, police asked me what happened

I told them I saw the biggest snake of my life
I told them how it's bigger than those hundreds year old tree
And how big the head and fangs were
They gave me 'WTF, is this woman mad' look
Told me they see ain't no snake when they found me

Next I knew, I was in a straighjacket...

I woke up struggling with my blanket tangled around me.
I have a feeling this is a very obvious sign I'm going crazy.
That I will be in a straighjacket if I'm still this bored.

Anyone knows what's the 'phobic' term you use for people who's afraid of boredom?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

It's Bangsar we're talking 'bout ppl!

Living the life, and chilling out equals to having a drink and just do nothing.
Yeap, that's what I'm doing now in Bangsar Starbucks.

These are the noise/annoyance I hear while I'm here.

1. There are 3 people sitting behind me, talking really loudly. Well, only the 2 girls were loud actually. One girl said (in a booming voice) "What's wrong with you la? We all say something, you just go 'ah' and 'yeap'. You're always like that you know?"
Yeah, girls, I'm sure your guy friend will talk even softer now that the whole world heard you.

2. One jolly good fellow honked and honked non-stop like a beeping idiot because some car blocked him. That other idiot who double park surely does not know what's the rule if you wanna do double parking. The rule is 'Be nearby your car in case someone wants to get out'.

Then I did my usual stare at the place and get some thinking going on.

1. The Reliance Optical shop always, always have customer. Sometimes, filled with them. I wonder if it's because they're popular, cheap or has wide variety? But I'm sure the owner is one hell of a rich fellow if he can afford closing their shop on Sunday.

2. The jockeys here start operation at 7pm. I wonder who assigned them to collect money from those who found parking on their side of the street. Did it come naturally since years ago, and now it has become their territory?

3. Most of the girls who come here wear casual, like a top, shorts and slipper. Is this the image of Bangsar, and everyone automatically dress like that when they come here? I do that too. I wonder why.

It's time to stop thinking because staring at the road is giving me headache.

Signing off, and moving to another spot.
Till then.

Life of a 'tai tai'

To start this off, this blog entry is the 234th post.
What a nice number, and it just reminds me of the song 1234 by Plain White T's (amidst the missing '1').

I'm now sitting in Starbucks in one of the most chilled place in KL, alone, drinking Caramel Hot Chocolate. Brought along with me a laptop, charger, a book, and a packet of ciggarettes.
How chilled-out can you get without all these?

Regarding my previous post, a friend commented that while reading it, he felt like he's watching a dull, very very old fashioned and sloooooow movie, where the main actress is reading out her thoughts with some wind blowing, standing at the window.
I find it wonderfully said.

That's what I feel like, in an old fashioned black and white movie back in the 80's. With big permed hair, rosy red lipstick, wearing a puffy-sleeved, big shoulder pads blouse.
Ah, so interesting; the life in the 80's.

It's good to be able to just sit outside with a cup of hot chocolate. It's like living the life of a rich 'tai tai' (jobless married lady). This is probably the Western style of 'tai tai'.

Or I could be the Chinese 'tai tai', then I would be playing mahjong all day, talking to my other 'tai tai' friends about what my husband bought me for our anniversary. Then while playing mahjong, I'll just flash my 3-carat diamond ring and diamond-studded bracelet around, blinding their eyes. To add, I'll involuntarily touch my neck, where there's a heavy gem-encrusted necklace in place, to give them the cue to say 'Wow'.

Well, I would be doing all this kind of stereotype things IF I AM a 'tai tai'.

Only, I'm not married to a rich man, is not jobless and has no financial freedom of my own to do all that.

I think I just fell back down to earth, with a catastrophic effect.
Ouch, that's gonna hurt a while.

Half an hour of insights

Half an hour of staring out of the bedroom window can be either fruitful or mind torturing.

1. Was watching the condos on Gasing Hill wondering if I could catch someone switching on/off the light for a minute. None. My eyes started getting blurry.

2. Stared at the whole stretch of NPE between Subang and Bangsar and saw some cars driving past. A van had its double signal turned on, but still strolling along the highway. I wonder if the van was having problems, or the driver was just switching it on for fun.

3. Next, a group of bikers drove past. They looked like stars moving in a group because all I saw was their singular headlight. I wonder if they're Mat Rempits having their midnight stroll, planning on robbing someone.

4. Looked at the furthest building on my right, I knew it's probably around MidValley area. I wonder which building is that one there, with the most lights on, trying to guess the name. Eyes got blurrer. Failed, and gave up guessing.

5. Then I focus to some building nearer to my place, identified the Pearl Point Hotel. Most of the lights are not on. I wonder if their business isn't so good after all, and most rooms are still vacant. Or maybe, the occupants went to sleep or doing something exciting in bed.

6. I looked back at the entire Gasing hill again. I could see the whole hill and was wondering what could it shape like. Then decided it shapes like a typical hill, nothing special. Though I was amazed at the lush greenery. It's good to see a bunch of trees like broccoli in the middle of concrete jungle.

7. I looked down at the bungalows right below, they're still the same. No one did major renovation. Then I realised the kelompok of wooden houses are gone, and replaced by bushes. Wonder what happened? The developer kicked them out of the area?

8. The roads around the bungalows are dark and empty. Only one car was moving quite fast around the corner. I wonder if it's a girl driving and she's speeding because she's afraid of being robbed since it's so dark and quiet.

9. The cars on Old Klang Road are moving really really slow. It's not the weekend stroll for sure. It's a Monday night. I wonder if most people are more relaxed drivers at night because there's less car (less morons) and more space.

10. I looked at the streets for a few more minutes. The street lights are turning into stars that shines brighter and brighter. Almost blinding. Then a tear rolled down my right eye. It's the tear playing tricks with lights.

My ciggie burnt out the same time. Flicked the ciggie far far away so that it doesn't land into my neighbours house under me and caused fire in my building. (I know, it's still wrong to do that)

What an insight.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

With this hospitalisation leave...

All of a sudden I felt that this hospitalisation leave is not so bad after all.

I can walk, drive and talk.
But not run, jump or do anything strenous.
Therefore this leave I have is not for me to be bed-ridden the entire time.

And with this, I have the opportunity to meet all the friends who I've not been meeting for a year or more. And oh yes, the number of friends that I've not been meeting is surprisingly ALOT.

With this leave, I get to spend time sitting alone, having coffee somewhere with my laptop and a book. I also did bumped into long lost friends this way.

With this leave, I get to know which friend cares more about me. I also realise who in work thinks i'm not hardworking enough, and even suspect that I'm misusing my MC.

With this leave, I have more time worrying about my personal dramas in life, only to realise I have been dedicating most of my thinking time to work before this. I also feel more sadness during this period. Personal drama is always sad.

With this leave, I have the chance to think of my health and how it had been sending little warning signals but I ignored. I also found out the unexplained cause of my minor health problems.

You see, it's really not a bad thing after all. Even my blog is more alive now , no?

Friday, May 29, 2009

I'm a Standout in life.

I am different from others. Everyone stand out in their own unique way.


I'm the girl who used to blog about normal personal stuff involving relationships and daily updates, 4 years ago. I wrote in simple manner, very 'cincai' indeed. Not to mention, less sarcasm too.

Today, I'm Sammy, the one who blogs with a pinch of sarcasm because of the cruel reality in blogosphere.

My irrational entry regarding a race, several months ago, has contributed to my life-building experiences. I was not fully aware, nor exposed to the great power of internet until that incident. From what I was aware of, the audience of this blog were mostly my own friends. One stranger tripped over this blog, and news about me spread like wildfire.

Headlines of many blogs and Malaysiakini has my name along with the words 'racist blogger'. That instance, the traffic on my blog was massive, easily a giant as compared to the KL jams during peak hour.

Initially, I was angry at how things were taken out of context. Then I realised, it was the words I used and how I wrote it. The whole phone-stolen incident has brought so much anger, it killed my knowledge of international relations and sanity when I blog about it.

Wildfire keeps spreading and burning, comments and chatbox continuously being spammed with vulgarities; I was that near to going crazy. But, we're always told, 'All problems have solutions'. They're actually right!

I talked to everyone that's involved, publish a public apology and deal with the aftermath. The whole furore cease very slowly.

I am sorry for the mistake.
I solved the problem with as much dignity I could.
I was showed that the racial unity in Malaysia is still not strong enough.

I didn't stand out for my ability to create publicity overnight..
I didn't stand out because I was vulgar and ignorant.

I stand out because I have the courage and dignity to face any dilemma and solve it.
For me, it's about standing up to face the consequences, and going through it alive.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Retail Therapy for the bored.

With all the time I have, I revamped my blog.

Well, no major changes like template and such, but minor ones. At least the discriminating and vulgar comments in my chatbox is not there anymore. Looks much 'cleaner' now.

Here's a story of how I spent my day today.
Be warned, it's a typical girl's blog post. Clothes, shoes and what not.

Went to La Bodega, Bangsar to have lunch: Sandwich and coffee.
Tapao from Starbucks: Caramel hot chocolate.

Went to a few boutiques for retail therapy. This therapy is able to numb the pain of the wound for a while; until you go to the counter to pay at least.

Got all these stuff, including the ones I bought form Bangsar 2 days ago:

The stylo picket-fence shoe that I probably will never wear (Baci boutique)

Loose chiffon dress (Baci boutique)

Polkadot wedges (Da Choice boutique)

Gold bangle (Cat's whiskers boutique)

Pink & gold earring (Baci boutique)

Red and yellow top from Cat's Whiskers. Not featured in photo.

Btw, Cats Whiskers has sale of up to 70%.

I probably won't be shopping anymore for another 3 months, after this month.

Optimism not in favour

I have the time, the energy and in super-boring mood.

Then I happen to have a laptop and internet connection, faithfully serving me at the moment. (Well, maybe not the connection, it's Streamyx, go figure it out.)

And since I'm already living the life of a handicapped at the moment, might as well blog about the things I do to fill up my past time.

Correction, I am actually not that 'handicapped'. I could walk and drive now, although my walking style reflects my grandma's. But i said i am handicapped because they are people who limit me from doing certain things and going certain places.

The reason? I am a recovering patient and I should look like one. Or else, people would think I'm lying. HARH!

Hmmm, some of these people are classified as pessimist. Excuse them.

Imagine this:

"You're a doctor treating a patient that has cancer. Would you rather see him looking pale, tired and staying home most the time (because he IS a sick patient); or would you rather see him live his life happily & optimistic, being out there as if cancer is only secondary?"

Oh, haha!
Looks like optimistic-jolly-active recovering patients are not so welcomed after all.
Better watch how you behave when you're sick next time.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I judge by da cover, so what?

You know how sometimes ppl say don't 'judge a book by its cover' because we could be deceived by it?

The blunt truth is, even the person who believe it like a life-saving-guide does it unconsciously. hypocrite? not really, at least they tried.

I am one of the majority that does it consciously and willingly, but not to the extreme.


I'm telling you, judging something/someone by its cover is the most useful tool in making fast decisions. Eventually, everyone does that when they need to decide and don't have many light years ahead to evaluate or let the devil/angel in them battle to the end.

so what if we made the wrong decision in the end? at least we learn more tips in doing that again next time!

Someone I used to know always say, 'The dressing doesn't matter because it's what you are that counts.'

I didn't agree. The first impression is of utmost importance. What they see in the real you is more of a support.

Conclusion? I think I win hands down if we're to debate.

note: this entry came about just because me and iris were hunting for books by looking at iys cover, at a book sale. LOL!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

mobile is king!

i LOVE the technology when they tell you they have all sorts of apps
that can do various shit.

But you know what?

i HATE it when they don't function properly and when i
susah-payah downloaded and installed this little idiot apps.

It's a love-hate relationship, complicated too! story ends. *tut*

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Know the limits and what not?

I realised I hadn't been blogging for a long time.

I knew what was the reason. Only ONE.

I am limiting myself to what I can and cannot write.

Ever since the whole drama of my blog controversy, I couldn't blog about personal things or upload photos of my whereabouts.
I couldn't blog about current news that's being debated by every blogger.
I couldn't blog about what are the upcoming events and parties.

Then yesterday, I logged in to my blog and felt annoyed by these reasons.
I was soooo annoyed I had to write about this today.

The million-dollar question, should I continue writing in this blog if I'm so limited by its history?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Best Job In The World!

I found this at the bottom of the email AirAsia sent to me yesterday.

Tourism Queensland in Australia is looking for a 'Island Caretaker'.

6 months contract, and you're getting AUD$150,000!

I'm telling you, the name of the job may sound 'not so cool'. Go to the website and read through their job scope and responsibilities.

Trying out spa? Bushwalking? Going around the island on a helicopter? Try out the new snorkelling gear?

You call that a job?! It's an all-paid for holiday!

The fact is, it's probably only a gimmick by Tourism Queensland to create a hoo-haa over this island by choosing someone to be the caretaker. The caretaker also need to explore and blog or video record his/her experiences there. And most probably it'll be uploaded online for viral purposes. I don't know.


Closing date for application: 22nd February :)

Sarcastic satisfaction

I feel damn right satisfied today.

A bit sarcastic too.

That's because I realised people are still tagging on to my blog like a leech because they got nothing else better to do.

I have to give a professional occupation name to these people.

BECAUSE they're so professional and efficient in their job, they spend their time searching for bloggers who seem racist. They always manage to find something and dedicate their blogs to talk about these racist scumbags/mofo. (whatever you all called it).

Note to these 'leeches': Name callings are not 100% racist when you never mention the race.

Anyone has any idea what kinda occupation name to give them?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

TNB, take that!

I can't describe in words how I hate most of the government offices in Malaysia.

But what I hate more are the privatised ones, and to name 2 of my favourite hatees:

TELEKOM Malaysia & Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB)

Both of them share several similarities, which I personally experienced:
  • Rude staff (especially over the phone).
  • Yakking away with colleagues while doing their work (in the branches).
  • Efficient in chasing you for money but totally disappear when you have problems with their products/services.
  • Their technicians are busier than any International companies' CEO and you have to wait for them like an idiot.
  • Takes a zillion years for someone to answer the hotline or the branch's phone.
  • The staff finish work 5 minutes before their official closing time.

And then today, I saw this article about TNB's financial condition.

TNB posts Q1 loss, braces for bad 2009 (link)

How did I respond?

I laughed my jaw off.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Have you ever had this urge?

You know sometimes you just have this urge to start something new?

To do something and be somewhere entirely new.

Get to know people you have never met before and not related to your cliques of friends in any way.

Do crazy (but rationale) things that you only used to imagine.

I know... it sounds ridiculously weird.

But I so feel like doing it.

One Fine Day.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Learn your ABCs before you talk (type)!

After not logging into my own blog for weeks, I found comments on the chatbox that required reading it more than 10 times and still not understanding it.



What the?

I only understand words that really existed (in dictionary) or jargons/words from my own cliques.

Other than that, I'll shoot you the ??? in-bright-neon-light looks.

No point commenting (throwing harsh words) at me when I don't get what you're trying to say, am I right?

*Gives the sarcastic smile*

Ooh... that gave me a brilliant idea. I'll blog with alphabets that I simply arranged next time.





I'm changing for 2009

I've been wanting to blog most of the time.

I logged in to and then... I stared at my dashboard and wondered what am I going to write.

Then I'll leave the page open till the end of the day and close it when I shut off my computer.

How sad.

Ever since the whole drama and crisis on my blog's sudden 'popularity', I felt obligated to do some censorship before writing anything. Especially now that I know this blog is being checked by strangers from time to time.

No personal stuff.

No public random stuff.

No complaining/ blabbering.

But whenever I think of censoring on the things I want to write, my brain stopped ticking. Can't write a single word. Not even title.

It's year 2009 now.

Fark it, it's a new start. I'll write freely as long as it's not related to race.

So you all watch me from now on. I'll blab about anything I want.

THIS is the original intention of having a blog. Take it or leave it.

Screw yourself if you're miserable cos I can't be too bothered now anyway.