headache

damn, i'm feeling so crappy now. the only reason is because there's still another assignment to do. well, other than that, i can't wait for college to end and for semester break to start. i'm gonna appreciate my holidays like heaven when it comes. ONE MORE ASSIGNMENT. *faints* luckily, my group members are all cooperative and we usually finish it up in a jiff. sigh...lucky me. ihate to repeat it, but DAmn, i can't wait for that last assignment to be over.

tomorrow i have to start work already for the F&N tarik-king roadshow thingy. the pay is not too bad but not that good too. enough to make me work for it... but the things i'm doing in that roadshow? adoiZ, i don't even wanna say. embarassing shit... i am really that desperate for money huh? well...the bad news, all those wages from the F&N, Lipton roadshows and survey company ain't coming till it's about JUNE. bloody hell. i'm going to be so poor for 2 months and then got all rich suddenly. headache! already have 2 bad headaches for 2 nights straight. goodness sake...i'm going nuts.

CTR1 class on 27/3/06

the class on the date mentioned above?

there's NO NEWS about it from mr. shahid.

he FFk-ed me, he din sms me....

*sobs*

so i have no idea where there is class not..

sorry people..

i'll update as soon as he sms

just keep track okie?

mwahzZZzz

'bEh-tAhAN!'

just in case, for those of you who don't understand what's beh-tahan...

it means 'CANNOT STAND'

correction, or maybe it means 'BLOODY CANNOT STAND'

now, that's more like it.

just when i thought i can start to relax after last week's hell and torture.

'thought'.... yeah... exactly... it is never going to happen.

last week's 3 assignment due date nearly killed me.

BTW, one interesting fact to share:i lost one kilo in 2 weeks.

that 2 weeks was the 'assignment-due-date' weeks.

explains why isn't it?

so, i joked and said: "if only there are few more assignments like this ar, i can forget bout dieting because this is far more efficient in weight loss"

talking bout dreams come true. hECK!

tomorrow, there's marketing test.

next tuesday, duedate for Thinking Skills 1000-words essay.

next wednesday??

BM presentation (maybe).

Marketing presentation.

duedate for Marketing audit.

see man...see!!!

no need to diet redi, don't even have the appetite to eat these days.

plus i vomit when i over-stress.

now, sore throat and sick for 2 days already.

goSh, this is killing me slowly.

loyaL BUT fLirtAtiouS

now now...i'm not really talking about myeslf. in fact i would like to talk about some guys that i know and probably apply for a lot of guys out there as well. recently, i have found this very shocking discovery. i never realise that things actually happened this way. i thought they did it because of something else. alright... no more guesssing...


the story starts this way, attached/married men who has another girlfriend outside the family is usually very loyal to their girlfriends/wives. maybe not exactly 'LOYAL' but they definitely love them alot. initially, i thought that all guys who did that have only one reason: they are sick and bored of their partners. then i realised i might be a bit wrong...

the fact is (for some guys only, yea? NOT ALL).. they actually lvoes their partners alot alot? and they will do anything to have them back. but you might think, why wanna be such bastards in the first place by being with other girls at the same time? i asked, and i got no answer. they really couldn't give me an answer. they didn't know why. i didn't know why either. so let's put it this way, it's just a 'NATURAL' thing in some guys? hUh? what the fuCk rite?

girls who heard about these kind of stories will definitely label them bastards/fuckers/player... you name it. but i guess we will never know the truth. i was one of those normal girls too... if i hear people saying "he has a gf/wife, but he's with another girl too", i'll exclaim "wAH !!suCh BAstARDS!" now, after i hear a few true life stories, i doubt myself too whether i was being biased or not without knowing the truth.

one story i heard was, he's married and he's really young and his wife was his first girlfriend. they dated since form 2 or something and married a few years after that... and now they're still married with kids. seems like a very nice guy, yes..he is actually. the real turn off maybe is the fact that he haD gfs before with his 'married' status. but he didn't cheat on those girls..they knew he's married and yet they wanna be with him. AND he still loves his wife and goes home no matter what. why? i dunno. mistery remain unsolved.

another story, this guy's really flirtatious. goes clubbing and seems like he doesn't care whether he has a gf not... the truth is, he likes this girl since form 1 till now. it's 11 years already. and he still wants her.. the problem? he's very shy and he can't be himself whenever he faces that girl. i guess he just made himself look like a player to disguise his very 'embarassing weakness'? this, i have no idea too.

and these few guys who happened to be my friends, i don't know whether to critic them or admire their ' unfaltering loyaly'. but anyhow, they're still ,my friends... and i kinda accepted that fact calmly. with a little bit of my lecture of course. what? i can't control myself. dang.

but hell, i won't care more or less unless he's my boyfriend. but if my bf is like that, i don't think i can take it so calmly anymore. probably just grab a knive or stick nearby and chase him to hell.. hAhaha...

blab-bery and chit-chatty

erm...let's see. where to start? damn, it's such a hectic lifestyle. i don't even know what top talk about first. there's so many things i wanna say...! i mean, 'type'.


ok, i'll start from... the.... err....argHH. i forgot. anyway, last few days have been really really crazy and super tiring. i didn't have a proper sleep for almost a week. even worse, on thursday night, i was typing from 12.30 am to 12 pm friday. that's almsot 12 hours that i spent on my assignment, typing adn typing non-stop. thus, i sacrificed my beauty sleep. i wanted to give up so many times, thinking "what the heck, i'll just donate that bloody 20% away. there's too much stress to bear with". anywhow, i made through it. BUT i knew my essay was a piece of shit. i was just hoping for a few marks worth because i made such big sacrifice (beauty sleep). mUAHahhaz... fuck dat assignment lar. i'm so so thorugh with it! finally.... i'm quite peaceful now. that day i was so stress that i vomitted and diarhoea-ed. and i couldn't breathe most of the time.... Friggin siCkening!

thinking bout it makes me all sick again. if only there's a few more assignments like this, i need not worry about planning to diet. *breathes out* now that i'm all relaxed again... hm...oh yeah. this is a must-mention-thingy. JAMIE'S BIRTHDAY. well..we celebrated for her in tiffin bay, starhill. there's lotsa pics...but i'm kinda lazy to upload them. er...and there's no jamie inside the photos from my camera. so i'll wait till she uploads. hAha..... only me n carmen used my phone to camwhore.

if possible, ignore the pimple on my left cheek. tQ!

btw, an extra note; jamie's in love. so is carmen.


ok, next topIC... i din watch any movies in the past few days. such an achievement! *clap clap*

erm...what else? look, there's just too much to blog about and i don't know which to start first. this is not a crap blog k! hMppH!! of course, now that i remember. BAD DRIVERS. now now, to those of you out there who loves to drive fast, cut lane and put no signal...ur doomed. i always swear at those people who do that. i mean, looK! there's a reason why there's 2 huge lightbulbs at each side of your car, so make full use of it. i really do not mind letting people cut in front of me from the next lane, BUT use your signal dude. SIGNAL! don't anyhow barge in. OR cut lane already, then only put signal; too late. OR put signal at the very last minute; like a milisecond before you turn. rude, no manners and dangerous. you probably could afford to crash your car. i can't.

argHh...see, now i don't know what else to say. too angry. eherm...i have sore throat now. not related. anyways... i so love my boyfriend. s.a.y.a.n.g him to bits...he deserve it. he was being so nice to me the past few days when i was stressing over my assignment. he teman me go drink 3 cups of kopi-o almost every night even though he's sleepy like hell. then, just to make sure i finish my assignment and not waste my time around the house, he stayed in my room with me and wait for me to type finish..until really late at night when he has work the next day. that day on thursday night, he even volunteered to accompany me do my assignment cos he knew i'll be so stressed and bored. but i rejected him...because i knew it's going to take the whole night! and i was righ..i took the whole night ANd whole morning! mwahZ... he's the best!


i lurve my hippo-toy...isn't she cute??! i kiss her good-night everyday!

complicated L.O.V.E

i find this world really really weird. that's because when you like someone, there's always something obstructing and you can't get together with him; or you all just met at the wrong time at the wrong place although he's the right guy for you and you knew it. it's pathetic, really. we have to match the time, place and person in order to work out a relationship or else all will fail just because of a small mismatch. why would we be arranged in this way; that we can't always meet the person we want at the first time. we always have to go through mr./ms WRONG before we finally we found mr./ms RIGHT. then also, it might not even work out after many many many years...


you see... they always say, it's that way because God wants us to learn to appreciate our loved ones. that our beloved someone is not easy to be found and to keep them, we must know how to appreciate them and shower them with love. yeah right. the cold hard fact is, things aren't always the way we want it. have you seen people dating one another for more than 6 years or so, and you were so sure they're getting married soon...then suddenly they declare breaking up?? i bet most of you do.



another thing is... never let go of any chances or possiblities that passes by. if there's a guy/girl that seems interested in you, or you're interested in them. GO FOR THEM! what are you waiting for? you still doubt whether he's good enough for you? whether he's compatible with you or not? the truth (again) is... you will never know until you try it out. what is the point of sitting down, delaying time and ponders whether to accept them not? there's only one thing you need. 'like' or 'fancy'. it might just develop into 'love'. analyzing the whole situation with your brains won't help. just follow you heart. your mind doesn't always tell you the right thing to do.


fact no. 3: love is always unfair. never expect to get the same in return. you might receive lesser and give more OR receive more and give lesser. as long as you're happy and he/she is happy. any shit works. just do what your heart feels like. if you feel like buying him something, go get it... don't calculate the numbers to see whether you will get back something the same worth or not. if you feel like kissing him or manja-ing him, go ahead.. just don't expect him to be doing the same mushy mushy stuff to you. like i said, as long as both are happy... aNY shIT wORks!

the blabbing bout l.o.v.e ends here. i know i'm not qualified to say things like this; that's why it's just blabbings. oh, it's probably i've too much caffeine in my blood. since 4 days ago, i've been living on steven's corner's KOPI O; every night to do my assignment. last night was the only night i can go to sleep early. today the cycle starts again. it's going to go on till thursday night. one more assignment to finish and i can say goodbye to kopi o. feel like puking right now... stress man stess. never underestimate what stress can do to you. all kinds of sickness.

insensitive

that's me.

insensitive and terrible... and so inconsiderate.

i think they all meant the same thing right?

nevermind! screw synonyms....

i feel so bad now...

past few days had been hectic...

i have to finish up some left-over surveys so that i can hand in tomorrow.

and i have bloody asssignments to finish...

plus i treated my one week break as if it was really a 'BREAK'

amazingly i finished 2 of my assignments by sunday.

one has to be handed in tomorrow and i was done about 1 a.m. just now.

my boyfriend came over for dinner and he stayed till i finished my assign.

he knew i'll be screwing around the house wasting time.

so he stayed to keep an eye on me...

well, i did finish my work in an amazing rate.

the thing was, he was really really tired adn sleepy.

it was really obvious..

but i still wanted to go out and yam cha with kahmun at 1am.

he kept on telling me not to go, not to go..it's very late already.

but i still insists, and told him to go home and sleep first.

as usual, he won't agree with my idea

he's so worried that i'll be kidnapped or something bad happens..

so he followed me to go yam cha and fetched me home

i feel so so guilty now...

he looked so tired and his face was damn zombie-like.

i'm the culprit..he's going to be alte for work tomorrow

and too tired to work..

it's my fault, it's my fault...

i didn't want to listen to his advice..

sigh

*sobs*

" i promise to be good next time "

i havE so SO many assiGnments!!

tOnnes of workload!!!! damN theM....

haven't study anythiNg...exam's coMing. i'm sO gonna faIL!!!

i mISS goIng cLubbinG!

i miSs going tO yam chA without havIng to woRry...

siGh...

----endangering myself----

you all will not understand how is it like to be cursed with procrastination spell. that's because i doubt anyone of you can be so relax like me when there's 2 more assignment due next week. i still have another 3 days to finish one of them. i'm putting myself in grave danger.

the bad news? i haven't even read through any notes to look for the points!!! the good news? i can proudly declare it a holiday because i enjoyed it like one. for ONE day ONE night. that's only about 24 hours but what more can i ask for??? most of my collegemates are online now... either away/busy mode on msn. they're probably already went cuckoo and smacked their head against the computer! ok fine, maybe not that serious but wendy did sound like she did that. didn't you wendy?!

another thing i can be proud of? i watched another movie. HAHA. i watched it in genting... Underworld 2: Evolution. looks like i never let go of the cinema wherever i go isn't it? i think that's quite true. 6 movies in 11 days. me and my boyfriend are the record breakers. sigh... we calculated.... our movie tickets worth almost a thousand bucks by now. 29 movies. you count.

i went genting with him twice. and this time seems like the better trip. it wasn't a boring one like last time. i didn't have to wait in the room while he burns his cash away in the casino. i got in!!! after 2 tries that is... so i went in and watch him gamble and i give him a few numbers of my choice sometimes. and there was once i said 24, he didn't listen to me... or he could've won rm 900. sigh... i guess it's just fate that if the money is not yours, it will never be?

-------------------------------the rOmantic parT-------------------------------

damn da casino. anyway... i have to add. this time it was a really meaningful one. serious! we talked about 'serious' things instead of subjects like what you want to eat and where you want to go. we kinda had a heart to heart talk over dinner and i began to understand him slowly. it's also a relief to know that i'm not the only girl who didn't completely understand him. one reason is because he's unpredictable...he admits changing from time to time. god bless him, i hope he didn't mean his love for gf as well. i always thought that i'm the only one who didn't get him out of all his gfs before me. compared to my bfs in the past, he took me one hell of a hard/long time to 'catch' the real him. and for your info, i'm not really 'mission accomplished' yet. i still haven't know the full-him yet. still learning. it was a really interesting conversation between us but the fact i love most is... he doesn't sugarcoat his words when he talked about certain things. he was straightforward but it didn't hurt me. i was happy... because all i wanted was the TRUTH. i wanted to see know he describes me, how i looked in front of him and what type of a person he sees me as.

i want to say again....i'm tremendously happy that he told me those things. at the same time, he indirectly told me that it doesn't mean that he doesn't love/sayang me if he ignores me or kept quiet most of the time. it's just his nature... he does it naturally. from that moment onwards, i look beyond all his words and actions. and i realised, yes, he's right. i CAN actually feel his love for me even if he never responded much or kept quiet. it's all the small matters that he did to shows that he still cares. that he loved me as much as last time and even more now. the magical thing is... also from the very same moment, i noticed that he somehow started to pay more attention to my feelings and he damn sayang me wherever we go, whatever we do or eat...

example... he remembers all the food that i dislike and he won't order. he also knows i can't eat food that's too spicy. when the curry we ordered was spicier than we expected, he licked of all the curry before putting on my plate. it may sound gross to you, but if your bf is gonna do that to you, you'll think otherwise. he ended up sweating like a pig and gulping down cups of tea. when we eat the fruits, he made sure i get all my favourites and insists i have them eventhough it's also his favourite. he never ever fights with me to get them. when i have stomach ache because of 'wind'... he massaged my stomach till its warm and not so pain anymore; without me asking him to do it. right..i shall end here. that's enough examples to emphasise my point right?

i'm getting all melted again.. darn.

movie preview!

in a short period of TEN days time, i've watched 5 movies in Midvalley's GSC. FIVE!!! that's like an average of a movie every 2 days...i've watched casanova. it's really sweet... i mean the 'casanova' in the story which is a famous playboy in town who finally fell in love with a lady (for real). but i can be boring at some parts....

then there's Fun with Dick and Jane. actually... i think it's not really as good as i expected. there's a few funny parts here and there but it's quite nonsensical. soO... it's just worth a few laughs. HAHA.... i introduce Big Momma's House 2 if you want a good comedy with a bit more logic.

next, was the Final Destination 3. i know nuts about the part 1 and 2. my boyfriend seems like a big fan of it and he watched from the first part till the current one. he claims that the previous 2 parts were much much better..and more creative. well, all i can say is...this show's quite good for a person who only watching this the first time, like me! the way those people die? GRUESOME. and ugly...and blood splashing everywhere.

after that, it's Heirloom. i think it's a show from China/Taiwan. i don't know...no idea. but they speak mandarin... it's not really scary also... i was expecting some ugly creature popping out somewhere. well, there's none... it's about this 'guai chai' (dead infant/baby) that older generations keep... and they feed it with their blood because they believe that it will bring them luck and fortune. don't watch this if u intent to scare urself to shits...

most recent is Pink Panther... like 2hours ago? it's another funny show.. a comedy. erm...the guy in it speaks funnily in a slang and he can't pronounce 'hamburger'.... yeah..laugh at that. no comments.... not too bad i guess.

---movie preview ends---

so... i'm having my break this week. it's more like a mid-term HELL than mid-term BREAK. i think they kinda labelled that wrongly on our academic calendar 2006. i prefer looking at may, june and july. it's bout 2 months and a bit mroe of HOLIDAYS. pure holidays...no assignment. nothing!!! can't wait. anyway...like how i'm always 'me'.... i didn't really stress on it. i tried to accelerate my work but i can't. i'm cursed with the procrastination spell. i spent the whole day in salon today... and i look like this....

now... i'm sitting around middle of the night trying to encourage myself to do some work before tomorrow 4pm. i won't want to bring my assignment up to Genting for 2 days isn't it? Yes, that's the way i spend my holiday... sad.

too mUch!

at first i have alots of assignments to rush through.

i have no time to do many things and to be able to squeeze them in between my busy hours,

i need to finsih up at least one assignment by monday.

plus, i have activities lined up till friday of next week;

which happens to be my mid-sem break.

during the mid-semester break, starting this week...

i have to go to hair salon and perm my bloody dead looking hair.

then i have to go library and get references for my other two essays

at the same time finish one essay which has references all prepared.

not to forget, going genting for 2 days with my darling (as to 'celebrate' my holi)

then meeting up with my friend for japanese buffet dinner on fri night.

also, to go to the gym at least twice in a week

as well as going to my office in IGB to follow up for some surveys.

SEE! the list is SO not going to end!!!

did i mention bout nail polish?? NO??

a Tip for everyone: don't buy nail polish from Elianto. especially the one with glitters.

it takes hell of a time to remove, and it spoils and corrode ur nails terribly!

instead, opt for nail polish from Skin Food for only rm 8.80.

only RM 3.80 more than Elianto but u did a favour for your nails.

i'm going nuts isn't it? not yet!

because while i'm on the edge of the cliff preparing to dive into the 'sea of miseries',

someone gave me an extra help by pushing me down...

i guess that someone was worried that i won't jump, and decided to give me a little kick

thank you so much yea???

i'm now not only going mad with overloaded stress

but also furious at the world...what has become to some people ont he face of the earth?

that they do not know how to evaluate things on the correct side

yet, put the weight on me claiming that i'm prob not so right myself.

anyone understand what i'm saying?

NO rite? this is what happens to people who dun think properly.

like me and alot of other people on mother Earth.

god bless everyone.

note: this entry was typed by a person who's really down, emotionally and mentally. no one should take any of this seriously (except the nail polish). if anyone shall want to take the decision of believing what i said by getting mad at me, please do so. But no responsibilities will be borne by me if any health consequences arise due to over-heating.