Monday, July 31, 2006


maybe it's a wee bit late to talk about that now...but i really thought i should blog it down. so that i can read about in future and laugh/cry about it. it's been so long since i traditionally use paper and pen to 'blog' (a.k.a. diary).

the one year celebration with my bf was almost a month ago now. he made me really happy that day. i was so touched i cried; which is rare. also very guilty cos of the way i treated him. he really didn't deserve me after all. he's just too good and too nice...100% potential good husband. and what did i do for him in return? nothing much... maybe i invested so much of energy and effort last time, it hit me back the other way round now.

he brought me up to genting that night so that we can chill out, have tea and stuff. halfway up, he stopped at somewhere deserted and dark... now now, i dun want any minds drifting somewhere...

bf: you wait in the car for a while yea? don't look at the back and don't get out of the car.
me: huh? y? what are you doing? why cannot go out?

being mischevious, i climbed to the back seat and tried to peep.

bf: cannot see la ok! wait a while...
me: yer....y? what is it? faster lar....faster!
bf: ok! you can come out now.. fast fast!

when i look into the boot, omg... it was so beautiful! he sticked glow-in-the-dark stars everywhere and lighted little candles around. one huge heart-shaped candle. lucky he didn't burn his boot. there's also one butterfly stuck on the boot. and... a bouquet of different-coloured roses. he had prepared all those things since a few weeks ago, hunting for those small small gifts.

i don't know how i felt that time. it was a mixture of happy, surprised, touched, sad, guilty... oh, i duno.

that's the highlight of my anniversary. a truly spectacular one. one which i can remember really well because it's different. it was all da effort that makes it shine isn't it?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Though my blog is quite dead, i'm very much alive. maybe because i didn't know what to blog these days. i don't know what is it that i can tell and what i should blog about; OR maybe (most probably) the twisted story of mine is just too long to be told and there's hardly any words that can describe it. i know, it's complicated. *scratches head*


my holidays have long ended, like 2 weeks ago. i've already attended classes for 2 weeks now and it's just torture. having too many subjects in one sem is a problem.... what's more worse is 4 out of 5 days, my classes start at 8 am. Everyone who knows me well enough, especially collegemates know i have problem with early classes. it's either i won't appear cos i overslept or i'll probably be late and be marked absent anyway! the bright side of the story is, my dark eye circles are fading slowly because i'm sleeping much much earlier now... i take afternoon naps almost everyday after college.... and i don't experience any insomnia anymore. just plop on the bed and i transform into a pig faster than sailormoon's transformation (some funny fella said this, not my idea).

another depressing thing... i have 6 subjects this sem and EVERY single one of them seems like hell. one week into the college and we're supposed to start doing assignments... and it's not only one. they're SEVERAL bloody killer-assignments each subjects. *calculate* that makes it more than 10 assignments to do.


well, at least the past 2 weeks have been very peaceful for me (minus the college). the major problem that makes me pull my hair out? it kinda subsided for a while... doesn't mean it's gone. it's still there but it's less of a bugger now. i'm so glad for the harmonious environment now. i know i have to face it again someday soon, and i mean 'really soon'. i don't want to delay it either at the cost of having someone else drown in misery. especially when i hurt someone i love dearly just so that i can avoid the problem for a little while. i nearly solved it once and for all, but it didn't work out. there's lack of compromising. i'm so SELFISH... i know that too. there's no need for reminders.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

out of track


* a VERY big sigh*

just when i thought that life was about to get back on track because i tried to do something about it, God came and prove it to me that i will never get it my way. MEAN!

it's after many many times of trying to set everything back on track, trying to repair things here and there, maybe avoiding certain stuffs and breaking a few rules... the consequences would be a repaired-life. one that gets better than the previous and one that is meant to be the right way to happen.


it never happens... it just get worse. sO, a piece of miserable advice for my friends; DON'T bother changing your life. let it change you would be the easier and hassle-free way.