I ALWAYS thought that in a relationship, we're to give and take.
that's what everyone say isn' it? and it's supposed to be the ultimate guide to everlasting relationship. fuck that.
it doesn't happen if you're attached to someone who only wants to take but unwilling to give. FORCE him all you want but he will never give OR he'll just give all sort of reasons to tell you why he COULDN'T give.
the person i love just happened to forget what i've done for him in the earlier days when he had no job and we're just living on what i have.
NOW when i want to depend on him, all i got was a brutal kick from him telling me that it was my fault because i didn't wanna look for jobs or work for jobs that was difficult.
is that what men have become these days? is this what i deserve after many hardships?
IS THIS what i want, i should ask myself.
I'm telling everyone and anyone who's reading this. NO.
and this time i will not bow down and accept all this fucking rubbish that's happening to me, because i know i deserve better.
he wasn't even the type of person i wanted but i ignored it because i thought if we give n take, it'll be alright. hell with give n take.
you know what it feels like when someone said something and did something else that prove otherwise?
ESPECIALLY someone you loved!
that's super equivalent to DISAPPOINTMENT.
that's how i really feel right now. it's late and there's no one i can call to blabber about it.
you know, when there's only one day a week you can go out and spend time with a boyfriend... and it didn't happen the way you wanted? it became like any other days.
Yeah.. that's it. I guess i don't need to explain more and everyone already understood.
I rather be like some other couples who meet only 2 or 3 times a week but everytime they meet, they do something together like going out for dinner, watching movie, walk around shopping complexes or any other places.
THAN have a boyfriend i get to see every single day doing routine stuff like going work with him, help out in his shop, talk to his friends more than him, go have dinner with him n friends, then come home watch dvd, movies whatsoever, go sleep and same cycle the next day.
it wasn't even necessary for him to be at work today but he went and i went along anyway. it was supposed to be for a while but he stayed on till shop closes. Claiming that there's no way to go or no money, we didn't go anywhere. Well, he ended up spending money anyway..without me. i thought he say no money?
And i ended up meeting friends for yam cha on hiss only off day of the week.
i have no companion but i was desperate... really itching to buy some clothes. so i went ahead.
i wore casual clothes that day and was in no mood for make up whatsoever.
so i walk from shop to shops... when i reach Miss Selfridge, i thought that's it la.... the salesgirls sure IGNORE me one. they usually do...
I probably look very poor.
this time, i took 3 dresses to the changing room. when i came out and said that i want one of it, she smiled.
THAT smile was the first time i saw her smile since i went in. Just because i am buying something worth almost RM200...
HOW i wish i am rich or filthy wealthy.... then i can LAncI all the salesgirls in boutiques that discriminate. like plaster them with money and stack piles of clothes on top of them to pack. this world still says money is everything... isnt it.
first time i went with Kit Yee and Wai Yin for nuts. we ate in KimGary and then head to Qbar cos i needed some promoters urgently, so i thought go there and 'take' some la.
who knows? no girls at all that day. except us. then got one group of aunties clad in sexy black pieces came in.. i respect them....they dare to dress like that in their age and they come out in group for girls night.
someone said, "maybe they are spinsters".
they walk in in a line along the glowing platform and i was already staring at them because i though they were young girls at first. and then i see more more and more coming, like a HUGE group of them.
i can tell you, they're my fascination of that night. i couldn't stop observing them although they sat right at the back.
the second amazement was, they can really drink beer. They ordered a tower of beer at first, it finished, they ordered another and another. OMG. i told Wai Yin, "LOok at them, they can really drink man!"
and then i spent the rest of the night talking to a stranger and watching Kit Yee dance.
Did anyone know, she can really dance? Almost the whole Qbar was looking at her when she dances. *applause to Kit Yee* OH.... and girls, don't drink beer so much. I saw most of the elder ladies got bloating stomach.