Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Periods of Noncommunication
Let me say this about my wife: She rarely has an unexpressed thought. I have learned the hard way that if she suddenly starts making like a sphinx, I'd better do some investigative reporting. I learned this via the following exchange:
She: I can't believe you're going to let me go on and on like this.
Me (baffled): Like what?
She (with a glare that cements my position as World's Most Insensitive Man): Why don't you hold me?
Me (baffled): Do you want me to hold you?
She (glares silently)
Contrast this with my own recent silent funk, a three-week bender of noncommunication, related -- I suppose -- to the fact that I am no longer 25 or even 30. I did not want to be held, I did not want to be analyzed: I wanted my gloom to get lost and knew that discussing things -- despite prodding from my wife -- would lengthen its stay. She, meanwhile, assumed that my silence meant I had begun scanning the personals for ads headed "Former Gymnast Seeks Parallel Bar."
My wife isn't the only one who fears the worst when her husband clams up. Guys I've polled agree that any time they get quiet, whether because of a work crisis, a life crisis or a period of gentle contemplation, their wives assume bags are being packed. "I have to be in public a lot," says Mark Kayser, 35, a marketing executive in Pierre, SD. "And when I get home I am often antisocial. I am just plain talked-out. My wife will say, 'Oh, you are being so uncommunicative. But it has absolutely nothing to do with my love for her.
"There are those times that I am really worried or stressed out," he acknowledges. "But I don't want to bother or worry her with it."
>>>was thinking bout the same thing! few weeks back, i hated the silence and the periods of noncommunication. pHanz wanted to go out with me but he also wanted to isolate himself mentally. i never liked that.. although it still bothers me until now. i realised i shouldn't be over-worried. i knew he'll still loves me even without much exchange of words. and i only realised all this after i asked him bout it when the chance arrived.. hMMpH.. however, it still bothers me; like i said. but not so much anymore *grins*
Remember what I just said about lust coming and going and coming? Well, the other day, coming out of the grocery store, I saw this blonde. Only the floor kept her legs from going on forever. Not that I really noticed. If I did, it was just for a second -- really, not even a second.
Okay, guilty: guilty as charged. Slap the cuffs on me and, while you're at it, on just about any guy I could name. But we're looking, not touching -- and we have no intention of doing so, whatever our worried wives may think. And while we're on the subject, my wife looks too -- at square-jawed men with dark hair and dark eyes. To a somewhat insecure, shortish, green-eyed, pudgy-cheeked fellow (like me, for instance), that could be a problem.
"I make a conscious effort not to look, because my wife takes it as a sign of interest in other women," says Jim Fitzgibbon, 31, an electronic-components sales manager in Port Washington, NY. "So I'm really working on not doing it, at least when she's around. We've had conversations about it, especially if I have not been appreciating her as much as I usually do. She'll say she doesn't think I love her as much now as I did when we first got married. But believe me, I do."
"My wife and I both check out other people," says Ted Burke. "If we are out walking somewhere and there is some really hot girl with big boobs and a mini, we both look at her, but it's not an issue. I do not ogle and she doesn't ogle. It's more like, 'Oh, look, there's a good-looking girl,' or 'Look, there's a good-looking guy.'"
Adrian Comstock and his wife regard the whole matter as a sort of release valve. "It kind of opens things up," he says. "That way we don't have to feel guilty for appreciating a beautiful person. In fact, it's taught me a few things. She thinks David Duchovny is attractive, and that's given me clues about how she'd like to see me dress."...
I look at my own wife sometimes, very early in the morning, before she's awake, when her face is still scrunched against the pillow, and I think about the (inevitable) friction that comes with two people trying to make their way in the world together. And like Kayser, I'm reminded of just how big marriage is. The truth is, I like that it's big, I like that it's bigger than me. It's given my life a heft it never had with just me in it. I still watch kung-fu movies dubbed in Spanish. I still look, practically by accident, at pretty women. I still spend too much time Net-surfing on the weekends, when she would like us to be doing something together. But these are just satellites of annoyance stuck in orbit around the mass -- not mess -- that is our marriage. For the record, it's a gravity I have no intention of escaping.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
i hate people using my blog to promote their blog by putting comments in my blog. although, yes... there were compliments about my blog and how nice they are. and how you will tell your friends about my 'interesting' blog. SAVE IT!! DO NOT leave a comment that praise me... and then put a link there to your blog or company website. mIND you, if you want to advertise, get my permission or at least pay me for advertising fEE! i Only promote the website/blogs that i like... and knOW.
thank you for your cooperation. it is greatly apreciated.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
this is another shot cos we were not satisfied. me and rena didn't understand why we are piling ourselves on top of sari (girl in black shirt). then we can see leroy(guy in white cap) er...doing dunno what behind there.
left: there's me and kean foong a.k.a foongy. the small boy in class.. and i'm one of his bullies!
bottom: me and stephie, the 'siu jie' of the class. always so polite and soft spoken. i'm the opposite:]
was quite determined to take pics with every person there but i see a lot of them are occupied with their stuffs. so... i only managed 4.
then this is zain,he's from sem2. usually he has moustache and beard. hahah.. he looks very boy-ish in this pic. i like the angle the pic was taken from.
right: wendy and me.. the super hardcore gym-mer. she goes gym almost everyday and super healthy. i barely exercises...never did for erm..years??
too bad, i dun have alot of my classmates photo yet. my class has a variety of people. it's like a friggin rojak inside. you have all the weird combinations of people mixed into one class; quiet-noisy, rude-polite, loud-soft, expressive-secretive...hahah all sorts la!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
- i had fun celebrating iris's birthday in pyramid past 2 days... heheh. we had pizza and movie!! the movie 'red shoes' are not really good...dun watch. no proper storyline and it's confusing.
- on friday, i get to fetch my darling around cos his car was sent to the workshop. thanx to the fuckin drunk driver. so glad i can help him! hahaha... b'cos of me, he can run his errands. i went midvalley that day too.. and i lost my parking ticket!! and got 'ffk-ed'. not really ffk actually but still, i didn't get to meet them! you know who u are.. but they made me happy again by giving me a keyboard as a pressie! hahaha... how weird.
- then, at night i had carmen to accompany me to pyramid. there was this cute guy in pyramid's guess!! eherm.. hahah and i got my adidas superstar shoe!!! happy happy... and get a new pair of socks too. hahaha to match it! next, we chilled out at coffee bean and gossip as much as we can...
- later at night somemore, i went and join my darling and colleagues at some bar in saujana resort. it was so scary!! i got lost on the way there and ended up in some ulu place where tehre's insufficent light.. and no onE at all. sobS.. nearly cried man...
- later later at night somemore, after the bar, went to darling's house and watch movie... and he cooked maggi mee. it's so delicious! put in a lot of extra ingredients..a better chef compared to me! hmmPPh...
- wah...see how many things i can do a day!! friday itself i was out the whole day. but today i worked the whole day!! waAaaaa...but to make up for that, i'm going clubbing later!! like in 15 mins time? haha i'm such a good girl these days, i didn't go clubbing so often anymore. :P
hAhaha... i'm just so happy! i have plans up ahead for next week toO! ngek ngekZzz..