RIP John Tan, with love.

I have no idea what to blog for quite some time.
Nothing amuses me anymore, life is not mundane, but nothing was out of the box.

Monday morning I received a call from someone I least expected to pass me a news that I wouldn't have expected to be so soon.

He has news about John Tan.

The guy who keep me entertained from pm till am over the phone.
The guy who taught me some computer technical terms.
The guy who taught me to listen to some songs.
The guy who told me what was it like to love someone, truly.
The guy who told me the love he has for his family and friends.
The guy who listened to my problems and advises.
The guy who listened to me nag on about my life without prejudice.
The guy who would skip sleeping to listen to me talk.
The guy who I can share secrets with no doubt.
The guy who was my first close male friend.
The guy who became my first puppy love.
The guy who became my first boyfriend.
The guy who let me feel the innocent love of childhood.
The guy who told me I'm special for who I am.
The guy who's understanding and told me I'm the same too.
The guy who made me feel sad and worry for him.
The guy who actually convinced me on LDR.
The guy who disappear on me without notice.
The guy who can make me forget my anger of him when he's back.
The guy who made me wonder of his whereabouts from time to time.
The guy who can live in anonymity without hesitation.
The guy who has great talents but kept low profile.
The guy who many people loved.

Yes, there's finally news about him after last seeing him 4 years ago.

After 4 long years, I met him again.
At his funeral.
He still looks the same.
And I heard he was still himself until his last day.
Low profile, anonymous and full of love (without showing it).
It took half a day for that news to sink in.
That he's no longer around.
That I can finally stop thinking about ways to keep in touch with him.

RIP John, and you'll always be loved by all of us.

Is sooo in love.

I liked saying 'I'm in love' because I find people love gossips too much to ignore it.

The first assumption: Does she have a boyfriend?

The second assumption: She has a crush on someone?


First reaction: Who Who?

Second reaction: Finally, someone!

ZzzzZzzzz....

I love this little drama too much to ignore it.
I love seeing people getting all so excited.
When the fact is....

I'm not in love with someone. Although I wish I could.

I'm in love with a song, crooning to it.

It's 21 Guns by Green Day.

You got your answer now.
So, stop congratulating me :)

Happy Birthday HorYan!

Today is a special day for my very good friend, Hor Yan! She has just turned 22!



We celebrated with her yesterday night and gave her a surprise as well. She must be the happiest girl on earth yesterday since there were like 17 of us celebrating with her.



Oh well.. All the best girl and hope there's more fun to come in the next one year! Ah.. one more, for your prince to arrive soon!



Pssst.. what birthday wish you made ar? TOok SO long!



p/s: pictures to be updated soon, afer someone FB it!

Bee stung my pup!

I super extremely seriously think I over-manja my pup.

Shall not do that so often because he bullies me and not Edmund. So unfair, when I'm the one bathing him and cleaning up his shit!

Oh wait... forgot to tell you guys, my pup Bailey got stung by a bee on Sunday because he was playing with the bee!

I dunno wtf the bee was doing roaming on the floor, Bailey saw it and thought it was cute, so he chased and pat the bee with his paw... and that's when it stung him. So sad I didn't see what happened, my bro told me (and yes, he let him played with it)..

I only saw him hiding under the bed and licking his paws. When i called out for him, he sit up with one paw up. Imagine the very very sad eyes and one hand folded up shaking. *sobs* So i checked and saw a very terrifying looking sting stuck to his paw.

I've never been stung by a bee in my entire life and my pup won the rare prize. I bet he'll be terrified of bees the next time. HAH~

Yam Cha Frenzy

Last weekend was actually nice...though I'm supposed to be all emo about it.



I think my friends healed the emo-ness. Hahha nevertheless, divert my attention away from all the rotten issues. Thank you Jamie & Hor Yan!



On Fri night, we were to go out and dwell on my issues. So we did.. 30% of the time. The rest of the 70% we talked about everything and anything. I couldn't remember what we talked bout..hmmph



So, we thought of going club or something since HY's supposed to go after yam cha. We ended up buying 2 bottles of beer and playing 1cent-mahjong game in my place.



The next day, we thought everyone's busy with their own things. Mana tahu, I came online and saw HY. We both asked each another to yamcha at the same time! Guess where we went after that?



Old Town White Coffee, Sunway Mentari.



Our mission is to go to every Old Town in Klang Valley, we almost succeeded, really...



Jamie joined us a bit later since she was in Pyramid. We sat there from 10pm to 2am.... FOUR friggin hours. Our topics range from hairstyles, clothes, friends, diet, ex-bfs, primary school, secondary school, and yada yada....



We're so engrossed with our topics that we didn't realise time passed by so fast. We didn't even care when we saw Reshmonu and Jaclyn Victor came to yam cha in Old Town. One of their guy friend is very da cute though :)

So, yesterday we went out again. Supposed had plans but it was a failure so we ended up accompanying Jamie to look for houses (work purposes). We drove around and around Serdang like nut heads and we stopped by to ask for directions to more than 10 people.
It's nuts... but Fun.

OOOh...and we had our nice dessert dinner at night :)

It's not stopping till today cos I'll be seeing them again tonight. *grins*

My second BF's a dog

Let me introduce to you my beloved puppy, Bailey.
Someone asked if it's named after the coffee liquor: Baileys.
No it's not.
I don't know how but i just named him that way.
He was my birthday cum 2-yrs anniversary present from Ed and the gang.
Thank you Stephanie, Christine, Simon, Jackson and Pow.
And to Ed, Muax!

Bailey's only 2 months and 7 days old here.

Only had him for 3 days that time. Was so tiny.

Celebrated me and Mr.Pow's birthday in PD.

With our cakes and my b'day pressie!

And also mahjong :)

Acting like a boss. Like one isn't it?

In his favourite position when playing with his toys.

My fav pic of Bailey. Isn't he cute?
Closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out.

One morning i woke up, to find him sleeping on the mess he made.

One whole roll of tissue was wasted.

Tissue is one of his favourite 'toy'.

He now has cacat-ed ears. One standing nick straight and the other droopy.

He's 4 month's old today!

- disappointed -

you know what it feels like when someone said something and did something else that prove otherwise?

ESPECIALLY someone you loved!

that's super equivalent to DISAPPOINTMENT.

that's how i really feel right now. it's late and there's no one i can call to blabber about it.

you know, when there's only one day a week you can go out and spend time with a boyfriend... and it didn't happen the way you wanted? it became like any other days.

Yeah.. that's it. I guess i don't need to explain more and everyone already understood.

I rather be like some other couples who meet only 2 or 3 times a week but everytime they meet, they do something together like going out for dinner, watching movie, walk around shopping complexes or any other places.

THAN have a boyfriend i get to see every single day doing routine stuff like going work with him, help out in his shop, talk to his friends more than him, go have dinner with him n friends, then come home watch dvd, movies whatsoever, go sleep and same cycle the next day.

it wasn't even necessary for him to be at work today but he went and i went along anyway. it was supposed to be for a while but he stayed on till shop closes. Claiming that there's no way to go or no money, we didn't go anywhere. Well, he ended up spending money anyway..without me. i thought he say no money?

And i ended up meeting friends for yam cha on hiss only off day of the week.

Live with him before you marry him

Is it true that guys change after being with them for a certain period of time?

i would strongly say yes... it's true and nothing can be more solid than this fact.
Or maybe it only happens to me. Usually i get to see their horrible intolerable side after 3 to 6 months. This time it's after a year. Or maybe because we start living together? Then again, maybe that's why magazines like to publish "live with him before you marry him" articles.

I'm born stupid and blur and will always be, I guess. BEcause i never know what i screwed up that made him so grumpy towards me. Sometimes i was thinking, maybe i didn't do anything wrong because he never wants to tell me what i did to upset him.

THe favourite reply was always "think about it yourself, if you can't remember nevermind". and HONESTLY.... i do not know and do not remember.

But then i'll try to think back, what i did earlier on that day -nothing.
And then i try to think about yesterday -nothing i can think of either.
and then i rewind my memory like a dusty old cassette until i can't remember anymore.
NOTHING (that i can think of).

Then i'll try the other way... did i repeat anything that was a big issue to us before this?
Finding: Nothing.

So i kept on asking what and why... the more i ask the more agitated he got. His face was as grumpy as an ogre. MORE grumpy than an ogre.



I don't know why but i had the urge to blog this. I felt like dying yesterday.

You know how stupid i got? I cried over dinner. Dinner that i'm supposed to enjoy because it's Tony Romas. The very innocent-cute looking waitress looked kinda shocked and i was pretending that i have flu; flu with watery eyes. I only felt stupid today. I was devastated yesterday.

After dinner, he was a different person. He bought me a jacket on the spot because we're supposed to go for movie and i didn't bring mine. I couldn't be angry after that because i know he cares about me.

I'll go crazy if it's going to be like this forever. Good-bad-good-bad-good-bad....

Since the last 3 months....

I finally got what i wanted and what i've been dreaming of since March.

It's not a big luxurious car or a bungalow with beatiful garden or a big bag of american dollar in cash. It's just a simple thing that some people get to do everyday, but not me.

I went to work in the morning and get off early in the afternoon. Before going home, I went and picked up cupcakes that i ordered from Cuppacakes. I left it at home before going for a movie with Ed. FINALLY oh FINALLY i get to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

To add a little icing on the whole outing, we even had lunch together in Uncle Lim's. I may sound ridiculous, marvelling at the very common things that couples do. But it worth more than a good massage to me. It's been 3 months since we get to eat together and watch movie.

I gave him the cupcakes after we came home at night...

Spent 10 inutes getting rid of the crawling ants. The cupcakes probably got a bit too sweet and attracting the little crawling monsters. *sigh*

he ate some of it...and then we're supposed to go Genting with Jamie & bf, Wei Jin & Kenn.... he took the cupcakes along because it's going to be his dinner.

Had our freezing cold drink outdoor. We probably froze our bloody brains as well since we've developed a lack of memory power at the end. We bloody left the cupcakes on the Coffee Bean table. There goes half of my cupcakes. *sigh twice*

And i'm a happy biatch that day.

A 180 degree change

i am glAD, glad and GLAD that the whole relationship is working fine again. no ruffles along the way and no storms ahead. Temporarily. Anyway, it's good enough.

Sunday morning was hell, he already started raising his voice and we're arguing over i don't-know-what. I thought it would be facing the devil itself when i reached home, but i was wrong. He didn't sound like the person on the phone. instead it was like nothing happened.... and for the next hour, it's even better than usual.

So i spent the afternoon lazing around and then cook dinner in the evening. It's almost unbelievable eh? After the bad morning, things turned 180 degrees. He even helped me to cook dinner, washing the rice, beating the egg... Accompanied me to the shop downstairs to buy things.

He even suggested we go watch movie after dinner but i was lazy. 'He' suggested... :)

Yesterday was fine too. I really hope everything is good and well...STAYS.

Wai Yin's 21st

TODAY is Wai Yin's 21st birthday... a day that marks her 'freedom' and the day she officially enters adulthood. Being her friend of 14 years, i attended her birthday dinner late yesterday. And she, being my friend of 14 years filled my plate and bowls with food; afraid that I am hungry.




Unfortunately, i've had to stuff myself with food since i went home before that and had family dinner. My eyeballs nearly drop out when i saw the plate and bowl on my seat. MORE FOOD! It's a very grand dinner though. got my favourite 'yu chi' a.k.a shark fin soup. that's the only dish i finished. The rest, i only ate a little of each. Sorry wai yin!








And when i reached, i saw horrified expressions worn on everyone's faces. I thought, "Shit, have i gotten that fat?!" Actually, they say they i've gotten darker. Not fat... But boobs got bigger. *faint* No, no...it's not true. i'm still wearing the same bra size...! See lar what event management did to me!










during dinner...

eating the cake ala chinese...

(they only gave us chopsticks.)

Being the lepak-ers that we are. We didn't wanna go home and went to yam cha in Halo Cafe instead. sEcond round of celebration! Even brought the sparkling juice there with us.

they are the 4 boy-peepers!

(li ying, mun yee, esther & azaria)

and these are the 3 gossipers...

(theresa, may ooi & hor yan)

the 2 normal lovey dovey ones. haha!

(wai yin & me)

then we suggested that may ooi use Breeze to maintain her hair colour.

the 4 boy-peepers nearly go crazy when they saw one of the singers on stage.

"Hmmm....so leng chai. how i wish he would sing like this to me personally."

can you see saliva dropping?

There was such a big hoo0ha over the singer that he noticed and started talking to our table through the mic. -_-''

Anyway, happy 21st birthday Wai Yin!

Bunny Orbituary

Rest in Peace my babies.

Avril Lavigne

18/3/07-22/4/07

A true star of the litter and the favourite of all.

She has charmed many with her dark eyeliner and outstandsing ears.

Also the best jumper especially in escaping the box.

Peter

18/3/07-22/4/07

The used-to-be round bunny with round face and brown eyeshadow.

One of the tame shy ones that is not naughty.

Named after Peter Rabbit in children's books.

Grandpa
18/3/07-22/4/07
The one with gray and white coat which also looks like a mini Schnauzer.
Is the most furriest and has the softest fur.
Has a tendency to lick people. So Schanuzer.

Howard
18/3/07-19/4/07
The skinny little fellow with one blind eye and Peter's twin.
It's named after a skinny friend.
Is the most mild mannered bunny that doesn't need chasing.

Merry-go-Round

18/3/07-18/4/07

The miracle bunny that survived a great fall.

The one that starts pedalling in circles after the fall thus the name.

One of the naughtiest and furriest ones.

Also one of the most funniest one that goes unbalanced and knocked around the box when he tried to stand on 2 hind legs.

bunny murder.

i think i've just accidentally killed one of my baby bunnies.

about 10 days ago, my rabbit gave birth to 5 babies again. yeap, for the third time. it gets pregnant every single month!

so the story goes like this... i was trying to clean the cloth bed where the babies sleep on. so i just took one of them up and walked to the toilet to get tissue. on the way out, it suddenly spring up and slipped out of my hand. it fell onto the floor quite hard.

and then i saw it squeaking. i guess it's in pain and then it's body arch backwards and started to pedalling its hind legs and going around and around on the floor. it was horrible.

after holding it for along time and trying to stop the fella from twisting around..it finally stopped and rest. i thought it's ok but it's not. it was more quiet than usual. it will not move when you push the fella and it will stay in the position that you put it on. however, its little heart is still pumping. i kept on checking on that from time to time.

i let it rest and came out from the house but i'm still feeling so bad about it. i've seen many of the baby bunnies die and it looks like this. i think this baby bunny won't be able to survive it and i felt so so horrible.

for ONCE, every single one of the babies of the batch lasted more than a week. all of it! and then i accidentally killed one by dropping it.

GOd bless it. i hope it will be alright. i want to see it moving and jumping around waiting to be fed when i return home tomorrow. please....? i don't want to murder a baby bunny that i raised.

online reunion!

i actually DO have a lot of assignments to do but i really can't make myself do it. aren't i saddening? anyway, today i ditched my work and lunch for good reason! Me, Jamie and Carmen got to online at the same time. Reunion for Malaysia, New York and Australia.

FInally, i think for the first time we were online together. Nice timing.

WE talked bout nonsense and problems and all the ridiculous things come up.

Jamie and Carmen got a few cool phrase each.
Jamie: told Carmen to 'Fuck on the ice' when going for skiing in Canada
Carmen: said she cant have a 'fuck free day' cos her friend is there.

I was laughing my teeth off just now. And everyone just logged off a few minutes ago to go on with their lives in Australia and NEw York.

And I... am going to hit the bed. Boring day.

I guess that boringness will only last till 8pm. Because i have to go work at 8 pm and i'm going Genting for a one-night trip right after work. YAY!

Ed's birthday in LAundry Bar

we were clebrating Edmund's birthday few days ago... on the eve. you know the day before his b'day and wait till its 12 midnight... that kind of thing. there were me, iris, kean foong, simon and his 2 friends who celebrated with him. How nice. It was in Laundry Bar, Curve. for those who don't know eg. kah mun (his kai lui), his b'day was on the 8th.

WE had no time to get cake, so we just ordered a slice of tiramisu from Italiannies. I brought a candle there.... haha. at least a cake for a birthday boy though it doesn't look like a proper b'day cake ay?

btw, i really really sucked in picture editing. i don't understand why the max font size is only 72 and i don't know how to increase it. so er... yea... enjoy my 'lovely' edited pics.

i don't know why he was biting his ciggie when taking pic with me. it looks horrible.

it's supposed to say 'Kean foong doing the bottoms up!'... :)

and then Laundry Bar is so sad.... their bar closed so early and they don't give us time to order before the last call. mean, mean MEAN! (thus, we can't order flaming lambo there)

i heard there's some music upstairs... then only i realised that the Sanctuary is on top and it's still happening! Me, iris and Foong went tehre to have alook before dragging the rest of the guys up. We ordered 2 flmaing lambo. once for ed, one for foong. the people working there are so nice!

the beautiful lambo flaming sexily....ehermm.... (i got no fetish for flames)

Ed sucking it all in...you can't see the flames cos i used flash... or else the pic will only look like the one above.

that's all for now folks....

TO or NOT TO endure

it's so late at night already and i can't sleep. so many thinks to think about, so many to worry about and so many things more to be done. i'm farking sleepy, my eyes are actually dozing off. DARN. anyway, since i'm just waiting for someone's reply, i shall continue crapping here.

do you know the feeling when the person you love just let you down occasionally? It's something that you're getting used to it.. you are trying to to but it seems like it's never going to work. Instead of becoming more immune to it, your heart gets more sensitive.

Every.single.time the issue arises, your heart twitches around as if someone laid his hands on your heart and grasping it tightly while twisting it around. It really hurts eh? It makes you feel out of breath and dizzy. it makes your eyes stinged by hot tears and it can almost have you take your own life away. It's not something that you can just cure by taking Paracetamol or putting cream on your burnt skin. It's a pain that you can never grasp and heal it physically.

I'm having one of these damn feeling right now. the pain in my heart? Excruciating. I don't know where to start or why am i feeling this. I thought i should be numb to it by now. when he did something disappointing again just now, it really hit me right on my face. And heart. Maybe it's not his fault, it's my problem; i'm sensitive. God knows what happened to me.

I just wish that my endurance can last long enough till the right time comes. I wish he's right, it's soon. I don't want to imagine losing all these when it's so near.

ENough of crap, maybe it's really time to sleep. get my mind of things. nitey nite.

R.I.P my beloVed Baby Bunny

this is my baby bunny... it passed away this morning between 5 a.m and 7 a.m. I am bloody sure of this because i slept at 5 am and i have to wake up at 7 am for class, and the next thing i know it's already gone to heaven. How can it die just like that???? I remember it being very healthy before i go to sleep, i even feed da fella with some vege, played with it, and gave her a goodnight kiss! God is so cruel to me.

Baby is noly 36 days old and i have NEVER parted from it for more than 24 hours. From her batch of 4 babies, she is the only survivor and i spent so much time and energy growing her up. That's why she is so precious! *sobS* I miss her. Now there's no Baby to climb around my bed and my keyboard and no Baby to climb on my shoulders!

She loves to climb up people's shoulder and she loves human presence. When i bring her along in the car, she will rather jump onto my lap and lay there than sit in her box on the passenger seat. she will hop quickly, following me from behind whenever i walk around the house. she will lick my fingers when i hold her in my hands. she will dive head first into the cup of milk and nearly drown herself before i can pump milk into a syringe and feed her and then sneeze out droplets of milk when i pull her out.

In SHORT: she is the apple of my eye and the supplement for my soul. *sobs...* i'm just devastated! i'm going to mourn for a week!

all abOut JAMIE

jamie has left for Australia for about a week already. and NOW only i'm going to post up pictures. haha! anyway... her departure at the airport was definitely really sad for 'someone'. pictures say a thousand words, so i bet these can explain better than me.

this is the group picture outside the departure hall. *sad*

this is a candid picture.. though it doesnt look like one.

me and jamie taking a picture together... the last few pictures.

before she left, like a few days before; she celebrated her farewell with mun jun, e-chuin, sophia, tze wei, me and edmund in Italiannies, Curve. I don't have the pictures in Italiannies. Anyway, as we're waiting for Chung, we went over to laundry bar to drink instead. Jamie was nicely waiting for Chung to come and order drinks together. but... haha, the bar is closed by the time he reached.

us at Laundry bAr

she's not around anymore...

the girl who has been spending the last few months yam cha-ing with me every night has left. Oh.. my beloved Carmen. Not to forget Wei Jin as well... haha. fine, i'm being dramatic here. but the truth is, i already start to miss them after only one day. today, when me and hor yan finished working... we thought of looking for someone to yam cha. Then... we realise our yam cha kaki plus mahjong kaki has gone to the U.S. *sobs* yam cha in Steven's Corner will not be the same anymore.

at the end of the day, the people who yam cha with us are kester, sugath and choon keet. those are the guys that i haven't seen in at least one year.

wAaaaaAAAaahhhh.... i miss my girlfriend!!!


carmen: i know you'll be reading this. don't forget me k! if you wanna see my face, take out the album we made for you! until i get my lap top and webcam.. i'll see u on the monitor. hah!